Kate Hackett
Men of the world, why are you asking us these things?
At least now you can puzzle out what is and is not an acceptable first date question, thanks to a thread on AskWomen by u/Danny_225. They wondered, “Women of Reddit what is the most stupid question you have been asked on the first date?” and Reddit’s women delivered. Here are some of the best replies.
1. His go-to
Once a guy didn’t ask me a single question for two hours, so I decided to point that out. He got annoyed, sighed, then said ‘how heavy is your flow?’
2. Such a monster
I was polite to our waitress and he asked if I was going to continue being nice to everyone all evening?
3. Hard to top this
Will you marry me so I can get a visa to stay?
4. I mean, pretty?
Had a guy ask me if I was really attached to my children. When I didn’t answer and just made a questioning face, he went on to explain that he doesn’t date women with kids (single mom was clearly stated on my profile) so he was hoping I’d say no and…just get rid of them I guess?!
5. Allergies
I was asked why I couldn’t just be polite and eat the soup he ordered for me before I even got to the restaurant (I wasn’t late, I was 10 minutes early and he was already seated and ordered everything). I couldn’t eat it because I’ll go into anaphylaxis, it’s shrimp soup. I’m allergic to shellfish.
6. WELL?
After a pretty much normal date, we were in his car in front of my house when he gestured to his boner and said, “well?” And I just laughed and got out of the car. He didn’t even get a goodbye kiss
7. Nope.
“Are you fine with shitting in my mouth?” No, sir. I am not. And this date is over.
8. Doesn’t really change
“How long have you been Asian for?” Um…my whole fucking life???
9. Sexual interests
Him: “So you seem like quite the contradiction”
Me: “how so?”
Him: “well, you’ve made it clear you are both shy but also horny, how do you rationalize that?”
Me: “…”
This was said to me in a PUBLIC place. Like dude why are you bringing up my sexual interests out loud and openly? As if those things contradict btw. Bleh. That wasn’t even the worst part of the date.
10. WHOA.
We had been talking for about 10 min when he pulls out a key and put it in the table. Asks me if I want to move in with him that weekend or next weekend. Followed by him telling me that he would like me to be pregnant with our first of four kids by the end of the year. Oh and he wanted me to hand in my two week notice at work so I could be a full time housewife. Yeah… it was weird.
11. Not really
Had a guy ask once if I wanted to get matching tattoos. On the first date.
12. The answer was no
I was asked if I like being tickled. I said I really don’t like being touched that much. He proceeded to tickle me the entire duration of the movie we went to watch. I didn’t feel bad not texting him back after that.
13. Uh, well. Okay? No?
Walking around the park with coffee. About 30 minutes into his paramedic stories, he cracks out this gem. “So, are you into fisting? Because if you’re not, this won’t work. A man that knew what he wanted but damn that was blunt.
14. The absolute lack of effort
I’d say the worst first dates were the ones where the guy asked me virtually no questions during the date, but when we were getting ready to leave asked either, “When can I see you again?” or worse, “My place or yours?”
15. Five minutes?!
I had a guy ask me if I was planning on sleeping with him that night… 5min into the first date! I tried to laugh it off and said we’d have to see because I didn’t want him to get aggressive. He got huffy and said that obviously meant no because women decide on the first minute if they’ll sleep with you, then left the date then and there saying it wasn’t worth his time to stay. Talk about a dodged bullet.
16. Uh, yes?
Had a girl ask me if I was into women…while I was on a date with her, a woman.
17. Terrible first date idea
Went on a first date and we went on a hike. Towards the top he asked, “what if I would’ve brought you all the way out here to murder you?” I told him that I watch and listen to too much true crime to come unprepared for a first date and that 4 of my friends have my location and his first and last name.
18. This is TERRIFYING
I walked home with a guy after a church program for young adults (I was about 19-20 at the time). It was my first time meeting him but he seemed harmless enough as I literally met him at church and he seemed quiet and polite. We were almost to my house walking down a darker part of the street and he said “you know, I could rape you right now”.
19. Lawd
I complimented the waitress’ eyeshadow. He says, “Are you trying to set up a 3 way?” …n… noooo.
20. Settle DOWN
If I’d be willing to shave my groin for him. Again, first date.
