Women Share The Weird, Embarrassing Things Men Have Told Them In Confidence (20 Stories)

We’re gonna cringe all the way through this list together, my friends.

I have a rule: if a man sends me more than one (1) finger-swipe-up-scroll of text, I don’t read it. None of it. Try again, dude. Because your epic tomes are not for me and I have no time for that nonsense.

Redditor u/ceo_of_dumbassery asked women over on Reddit:

“What’s the most embarrassing thing a man has said to you?” 

And y’all, I both nodded and grimaced while reading these.

1. Oh, fire this guy.

“My manager looked at me and said, with all of my male coworkers in the room, ‘I hope I can try you out in bed. You must be a freak.’ I reported him and he was terminated.” —u/toootired2care

2. Run

“‘Damn girl, are you as young as you look? ‘Cause I’ve got a white van just around the corner.'” —u/[deleted]

3. WtF?

“I brought a guy out with my friends once, and we were talking about nicknames that family and friends have given us. He goes, ‘My friends call me silverback gorilla because they recognize my alpha vibe.’ Obviously a damn lie.” —u/CHILLIMEDITING

4. I’m dead

“My brother and I were in a car accident. It was the other driver’s fault. It’s kind of easy to see that my brother and I are siblings. We keep out of each other’s space — like, we sit on opposite sides of a row of seats. The driver sued the insurance company, and we had to go testify in court. The guy said loudly, in front of the judge and lawyers, that, of course, I’d lie for my boyfriend because I fuck him. The guy’s lawyer told him in a not-so-quiet voice that we’re siblings. He turned beet red and lost the case since the evidence clearly showed he was at fault.. I had to wait until we left the court to laugh my ass off.” —u/Lunaphoenix23

5. Ew!!!

“This dude I was talking to asked if I was looking to have kids. I was 20 and said, ‘Not anytime soon.’ He proceeded to tell me that my breasts would look great swollen with milk.” —u/broke-bee

6. Nice try?

“A white man once said to me, a black woman, that he could be the marshmallows to my hot chocolate.. Cute, but I had secondhand embarrassment.” —u/AsleepAcademic

7. HOW?!

“‘Wait, how can you be both Korean and Chinese?'” —u/kaylintendo

8. Nope.

“A guy I dated wanted me to give him a BJ, and I asked if he would give me oral, too. He responded: ‘I only eat out a girl when she’s my girlfriend.’ Thankfully I didn’t blow him, as I suddenly decided to only do that for boyfriends.” —u/kaylintendo

9. Betas

“‘God, I hate being around all these betas.’ We were at the gym.” “He was also 29, and I was 18. Those whole six months were an embarrassment.” —u/AltruisticRevenue869

10. Concubine?!

“I was at church with my dad, and one of the old men came up to us. He pointed at me, then looked at my dad and said, ‘I see you’ve brought your concubine with you.'” “This was after he had smacked my butt with a rolled-up newspaper. I never went back there again.” —u/PiggyNoDance

11. Nope, nope, nope.

“I posted a Facebook status about working out, and this guy I’d never met before commented, ‘If you’d like to work out together, I’ll give you a very special protein shake afterward. Wink,’ implying his sperm. This man commented publicly, in front of everyone.” “I still cringe thinking about it.” —u/Pink_Padme

12. Awww, that one’s cute.

“This guy was trying to be discrete about weed and asked me, ‘So…you like broccoli?'” —u/mrskariii

13. Colored girls?!

“I worked at the Dollar General for a short time after high school. I am biracial (Black and white), and a white man I was ringing up winks at me and says, ‘You know, I really like colored girls.’ The guy behind him just said, ‘DUDE?'” —u/Spiritual_Welcome495

14. For a girl

“For me, it would have to be: ‘You don’t know how to smoke weed properly, but for a girl, you were pretty good,’ said by a guy who has never in his life been near weed before, let alone smoked it.. I don’t do drugs anymore, this was just from a little phase from high school.” —u/ceo_of_dumbassery

15. YIKES.

“‘I only like vulnerable girls. I want a girl who is reliant on me and will just cry on my shoulder.’ That freaked me out, especially since I had mental health issues when we first started dating. Guess the mental state of his next girlfriend.” —u/smoothestcrayoneater

16. I said no

“He asked me, ‘Do you like bananas?’ I said no, and so then he asked, ‘Do you want to taste mine?’ ‘Obviously not.'” —u/InnoncenceBlue

17. Byeeeeee

“‘I don’t go down on women.'” —u/storagewarcry

18. Jesus Christ

“A man I was serving heard I was Asian and then said, ‘I like Asian girls, they remind me of children.'” —u/Justtrynabecool

19. Not real!

“‘…but you’re not real Asian-Asian,’ said by a white dude explaining to me that my being Indian isn’t Asian.” —u/weisnice

20. A clown? Really, bro?

“‘You look like a clown with all that makeup on.’ My (now ex) husband said that to me on our wedding day.” —u/Geekbabe2