Listen, it’s no secret that most men are clueless about the female body and how it works. But what’s surprising is that there are a lot of women who are equally clueless about the male anatomy. Women have historically managed to figure things out faster than men.
We’re open to discussions, we do our research, and we’re not afraid to ask questions. However, it seems the internet and the quality of sex education offered in schools have failed some of us.
In a viral Reddit thread, women are answering the question: “What surprised you the most the first time you saw or played with a penis?”
The answers are incredibly eye-opening and are definitely not suitable for work. Some women assumed men were always walking around with slime on their privates, while others were fascinated by the “growers” in their lives.
So, without further ado, here are 20 women sharing surprising penis discoveries.
1. Separate sacs
I thought balls had two different sacks.
2. Hard and soft!
How they can start squishier than a marshmallow and end up harder than a fucking rock (people aren’t playing around when they say “rock hard”).
3. Cleanup required!
The first time I ever gave a handjob to completion I was 14 and so was my bf. I guess I knew what semen was but I was so surprised when it came shooting out everywhere. I asked him if that was supposed to happen and he laughed and said yes. I just remember being so shocked at how much of it there was and how sticky. Never realized sexual acts required “cleanup.”
4. IT moves
When he made it move all by itself it blew my mind.
5. Location, location, location
I had a very incomplete sex education, so I was surprised to see that the balls were underneath the penis, not on top at the base.
6. Again, it’s moving
BALL SKIN IS CONSTANTLY MOVING. Surreal. It’s like a moving Magic Eye painting.
7. Texture
The texture! When they said hard I didn’t know what to expect….but it wasn’t that.
8. “So…there”
I expected the penis, didn’t expect the balls to be so…there.
9. Veins
The veins!
10. Grower…
Saw a “grower, not a show-er” and was super impressed by the size when erect compared to flaccid.
11. Ribs?
It had ribs. I was confused as hell, it really felt like there were bones in there. Only later did I realize that it was the condoms we used that had those structures on it. Took a while for me to get used to the fact that d-cks usually don’t have ribs…
12. The testicles are “alive”
Not the penis, but testicles are… alive. Like two separate, living entities in a soft skin bag. I could not believe how much they move around and if you give them a little poke, they move even more. And then if it’s cold, the skin underneath gets all thick and clumpy. They are extremely fun.
13. Don’t get her started!
The penis wasn’t all one uniform color, was veiny and don’t even get me started on when I saw the balls. I remember thinking “Why are they just hanging like THAT?”
14. Not always in sync
What surprised me most is that a man can be horny without being hard, or can be hard without being horny. Most of the time it’s in sync, but sometimes the state of the cock does not represent the state of the owner.
15. There’s no way…
The first time I saw a d-ck I honestly thought: No way will that fit inside me.
It wasn’t huge. I just was very naive about the pounding my vaj can handle.
16. Slimy!
I thought it would be slimy for some reason so I was pleasantly surprised. I was very young.
17. It’s just goofy
How goofy it looks when flaccid. Like it’s just this weird stretchy knob hanging out between your legs, how can that not feel weird when you walk? How do you walk and not squish everything between your thighs with every step?? Still blows my mind a little when I stop to think about it.
18. It also floats?
That it sort of floated in a bath.. I didn’t expect that.
19. Shocked by the size
So I had never seen even so much as a picture of a penis, I had only seen babies naked like while changing diapers (not in a weird way, it’s just true), so I was absolutely SHOOK by the size of the thing. It was like 5x bigger than I expected and I was freaked out- it reminded me of a dangling third leg! I was only like 16, and I’m mid-20s now… in hindsight, he may have had a massive d-ck, but at the time I just had no clue.
20. The cheat code.
I get a little goofy when I’m nervous, so I did the “up up down down left right left right” movement with it, which is super fun. My now husband said “…did you just use a cheat code for my d-ck?” So I guess it worked. Together for 12 years now.