Kate Hackett
The expectations on women are many: have a job, but be available for your kids; be passionate about everyone but yourself; family comes first… the list goes on and on. To be honest, I never stopped to think about it until I stumbled on this question from u/thermostatgasket in the AskWomen subreddit. The Redditor asked:
“What is the stupidest thing you were expected to do because you are a woman?”
Here are the best takes.
1. Want Kids
Honestly I wish I could have [my womb] taken out and given to a woman who wants one/a better one.
2. Notes
Always be the note-taker in meetings. Didn’t matter level of seniority or who called the meeting. It was just assumed since I was the woman I would take on that role – always.
3. Promotion quest
Pushed to fulfill 150% of the qualifications for a promotion, while some of my male colleagues were only half qualified but got the job, no biggie.
4. Smile!
How to smile on command.
5. We fart too
How to never, ever fart.
6. Sexual pleasure isn’t optional
Have sex where the main source of my sexual pleasure was treated as optional or non-existent. (I am quite sure cis men are almost never expected to have sex that completely ignores their penis, and yet folks with vulvas have the equivalent thing happen to them all around the world every day.)
7. Manage men’s outbursts
I love the irony that women are accused of being emotional and irrational, but I’ve seen so many men throw complete tantrums or have angry emotional outbursts. ..but somehow the women are expected to tiptoe around as not to anger them.
8. Banks
Being listed second on the checking account I was adding him to. MY main account!!
9. Smile more
I was denied a raise when I worked merchandise (back of house in retail) because I didn’t smile enough. I’m sorry Linda I’m busy lifting 90lb boxes into peoples car while being 4’11” and barely 120lbs or it could be the crippling depression Idk fuck me i guess. I quit shortly after that.
10. Sew
My husband is the one that knows how to sew, he made our curtains for our home. I told a friend about our curtains & I guess due to the whole being married we become one thing I gave myself some credit unintentionally, I stated “yea we made them ourselves”…But in reality my husband did the sewing, my portion was wielding the tape measure & picking the material. I was involved but didn’t sew anything.
Many months later she brought me her pants & asked me if I could “real quick” alter them for her. I was very confused…like, why would she think I could do this? I don’t even know how to turn on our sewing machine let alone operate it & then there is the whole technique part I know nothing about either. I was like, “I can’t sew” and she was all, “But you made curtains.” and there lies the misunderstanding.
She just assumed when I said “we made them” that I did all the sewing because im a woman. She was blown away that my husband could sew. She never heard of a man sewing anything in her life.
11. So much emotional labor
Had a coworker ask me if I had made a list of chores for my boyfriend at home… I told him that my boyfriend knows how and when to clean.
12. Set up meetings
I am a woman managing an office with 2 male employees and 1 female. While they know I am the boss (helped out by being considerably older than them), the two male employees have asked the female employee to set up meetings for them. Mind you, they are all peers! When I heard that, I took each of those guys aside and told them they are NEVER to do that again and I told the female employee NEVER to agree to that.
13. De facto secretary
I worked for a place that refused to hire a secretary and just made me (the only woman working there) the de facto secretary instead. If you think I was given a pay rise, recognition, or fewer responsibilities for the job I was actually hired to do, you’d be wrong. I was expected to do the work of two people. One of my coworkers called me a b**** for suggesting we split the work between us.
Oh, and I also found out after I few months that I was being paid less than my coworkers (and before anyone asks, no, they were not more qualified than me and did not have more experience than me). I was being paid less for twice the work.
14. Office coffee maker
Make the coffee in the office
15. Childcare
being parentified, no matter the family function I was put in charge of childcare despite being a child myself
16. Appeasing presence
Be an “appeasing presence” at work so that “things can go smoother between the rest of the staff” (all male) That ended poorly.
17. Cooking
(Male) boss wanted me to cook for the (entirely male) staff. It was s desk job. Walked out.
18. Dishes
My brothers new gf came to a family dinner and my grandmother, mother and aunt were upset she didn’t offer to help with dishes. They never would expect my male partners to help. I said right to them that she was our guest and I’ve never seen my brother offer to help with dishes. They’re attitude changed after that
19. Allow it
Put up with bullshit from men. “You’re a woman, women are more mature while men are like kids, you need to give them a pass to be a*holes, not stir things up, you don’t have to nag them.”
20. Marriage and Kids
What a scam.
