Lindsay
Teachers see, well, a lot over the course of their careers. You can’t spend half your life wrangling dozens — and sometimes even hundreds — of children without some wild stories.
Elementary school teachers, though. They’re the ones who see it all. They’re in charge of molding delicate minds that have been barely touched by life’s cruel hand. The result is unbridled creativity and imagination that often goes… too far.
One Redditor wanted in on those “too far” moments and asked the teachers of Reddit what the worst show-and-tell item a child brought to their classroom was. Naturally, the answers were hilarious. We’ve gathered up 20 of the best ones.
1. Missing keys
Only been teaching one year but so far, moms only set of car keys.
2. Lucky “rabbit foot”
The teacher across the hall from me had a student who brought what he thought was a lucky rabbit foot to show to the class and excitedly announced he had enough for everyone in the class. The rabbit foot was a tampon.
3. RIP bird
Someone brought their pet bird-dead, in a box, that was going to be buried when they got home later that day.
4. More dead animals
Wasn’t show and tell but once during morning break while I was a student teacher, two 6 year olds came to find the class teacher in the staff room. They had something to show her. She came back with pictures, these boys had found half a dead and decomposed hedgehog and decided to pick it up and put it on her desk. Needless to say hands were thoroughly washed and drenched in sanitiser
5. Just say no
My wife is a teacher in a major US city. One of her grade 4 students brought in a packet of his mom’s cocaine to show the class during drug awareness week. He got some visits from the principals and school counselor, maybe the men in blue.
6. Smile and nod
Had a kid aged 6-7 who had a lot going on but part of it was that he was a compulsive liar with absolutely no sense of when a lie was so poorly constructed that everyone would know. Every single day he would say he had something for show and tell. Most days we ‘didn’t have time’ for his show and tell, but every so often we kind of had to let him have a go. He’d stand up, ready to do his show and tell, then wander over to my desk, browse for a minute, pick up the most random crap (a post it note, a sharpener, once it was the custom “well done” stamp that actually had my name on it) and then say some poorly constructed story about how he found it in Africa when he went there for tea yesterday with his auntie or some such. He’d get really upset if he realised nobody believed him, though even at that age, most of the kids had the tact (or guillability) to just smile and nod.
7. An unexpected geology lesson
I taught 5th grade in a school with really rich kids and really low income kids bussed in. One of the low-income kids brought a coconut for her show and tell about Trinidad, where her dad was from. She cracked it open — it was completely rotten inside and smelled awful. I was so worried about the kid being embarrassed, but then one of the rich kids (who was also of a pretty low intellect) looked at it with wide eyes and said “It’s like the earth: the core, the mantle and the crust!” which is something I think he had never really understood before. So it actually turned out pretty well.
8. Grandma swings by
Asked my students to bring an object they loved, one kid brought his grandmother.
9. Never postpone show and tell
A lamb’s tail. Apparently they went to a farm which let visitors keep them as souvenirs (who knew that removing tails was a thing?)
Turns out it was a mistake to postpone Show and Tell for a couple of days while, hidden in a locker, the tail marinated in the July heat.
10. Also, never bring sharp objects
glass he brought from home. he did in fact cut himself, which is how i discovered the glass when he walked up to me with bloody hands
11. Converted into a what?
A dead frog that had been converted into a coin purse.
12. 420 friendly
I’m a preschool teacher in a state with legal weed. One of my students brought in a plastic tube the local dispensary uses for prerolled joints. He said he found it in his parents room and he brought it because he liked the popping sound it made when he opened it.
13. Hair, hair everywhere
His haircut. He comes into my studio, “I just got a haircut!” then vigorously rubs and shakes his head as millions of fine hair bits rain down all over.
14. A… what note?
I taught for a few years and a kid brought in a “Death Note” he had made, full of names and the way they would die.
If you are not familiar with the series, check out the manga/ anime synopsis.
The student had my name in the Death Note, too.
15. Kids do love their hair
A school bag full of his own hair.
To be fair, he didn’t actually try to show and tell it. He also brought in an action man. I noticed him and his best friend playing with the action man. They were putting something on it’s head. I went over to him and asked them what it was.
“It’s hair!” “Hair? Where did it come from?” “It’s Stevie’s hair! He got it cut at the weekend!”
The child had a hair cut, brought the clippings home, then put them in his school bag and brought them in to school. That hair stayed in his school bag for a full week before his mother noticed.
16. Well, they are “toys”
I had a student in kindergarten and he did this in first grade, but he brought one of his mom’s sex toys in to show the class. It was like 7 years ago so I don’t remember what it was, some sort of kegel bead thing? We all died laughing about it in the staff room that day.
17. Smuggled taxidermy
Not worst, but coolest – a student of mine brought in a taxidermed (stuffed?) bear from the shoulders up that his dad had killed with a bow. Best part was that his parents didn’t know he brought it, he snuck it to school in a huge black garbage bag.
A couple years later he brought homing pigeons that he and his dad are raising and training and did a whole presentation with a headset mic and everything for the school.
The whole family is full of the nicest and coolest people I’ve ever met. Easily one of my top 3 favorite families of all time.
18. Second grade??
2nd grade, a kid brought a Marlboro hard pack full of bullets. Later that year I had to confiscate a baseball cap from him. It was a 420 Marijuana cap with the brim signed by ICP. I told him his parents could come and get it. I still have it. He was a sweet little guy, but one day a kid teased him about his dad being in jail and he silently beat the kid til I pulled him off.
19. Not what you think
I had a student bring in “her grandfathers skull”. The class was horrified. It turned out that he was a doctor and it was the skull that he kept in his office as a model.
20. A toy’s a toy!
I am a social worker and out team once had a referral from a primary school because a boy of 9 had brought in his granny’s vibrator. He was chasing other kids round the playground with it!
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Lead image: Wikimedia Commons
