Kate Hackett
u/DJ_Duke_of_spook shared a tale on Reddit recently about how he handled (or, I guess, really mishandled) a breakup with a cheating ex.
He had received an email from the girlfriend while she was on a work trip telling him to move out, she was moving a new guy in, and she and u/DJ_Duke_of_spook were done.
So he decided to get back at his ex with some noisemakers hidden all over the house.
Here’s his story:
I did this to an Ex who asked me to move out while she was on a work trip and told me she was coming back with her new boyfriend, we were still together when she left.
I got these little noisemakers, battery powered ones the size of a quarter that emit sounds at just the right volume that you aren’t sure if you really heard it, so quiet that two people could be sitting in an average sized room and while one can barely hear it the other wouldn’t hear a thing. They last ages, and fit perfectly in light fixtures and in wall outlets. I got a box of 20 of them for like $100 on eBay and got so creative all over the house, her car, I even hid them in a boat her father got her (rich family and she grew up sailing).
Now these little bastards make a noise at complete random intervals, could be minutes, could be hours, could take a whole day off. They cycle noises like children laughing, a “dying breath” as they called it, a whistle, scratching noises, some other ones I can’t remember but you get the idea. It was so unpredictable it was near impossible for someone to just figure it out.
Months go by, I get a new place, get my life back up. Now we had a few friends in common and one of them I kept up with. They were kinda sour about how she ended things but they had grown up together and kept up the friendship, loosely talking and catching up on occasion. I never really asked about her, but one day we get to talking and he’s wanting to prank some friends on a camping trip so I tell him about the noisemakers.
As I’m telling him about them he slowly starts making this face, like he’s gradually losing his shit. He’s got this huge grin on his face and asks me “you put these in (ex) shit didn’t you!?” And when I admit he starts laughing hysterically.
Turns out her new boyfriend had only lasted a few months, and had left telling her that he couldn’t handle whatever was going on with them and their mental states. Turns out for a while they had both heard things and sometimes only one would hear them, which gave the illusion that something really fucked with them was going on in their heads at different times. They couldn’t figure it out and eventually he wanted out completely, and having run down all the crazy list of shit people who are hearing voices would think ended it believing he had been infected with some brain worm the government was putting in vaccines or something like that.
It was amazing, I hadn’t expected to hear anything about it. I rode that train for weeks. When it went away I got another hit of that high. She moved out, told her parents she didn’t want the house and to give it to her brother or sell it. Wouldn’t tell them why.
I always tell people who ask about her that I hold no grudge, and don’t tell them the part where I totally fucked with her so bad I overshot the “got her back” stage and hit the blissful state of satisfied with my work.
My wife knows this story by heart because it’s her favorite one to tell.
So this is obviously not the most healthy way to handle a breakup. He did follow up with a few assurances that he’s learning the potential consequences and growing as a person., though he doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of regret about the entire thing.
Her brother and I are still good friends and after a while we decided they should be told but he decided it was best for him to take the wrap and tell her he had just put a few in her house, ex boyfriend got the news too. He was butthurt and just didn’t want any more to do with them (which they were all fine with because they found out he had been railing coke on their stolen dime for most of the relationship and hiding it as hyperactive disorder) and the sister was just kind of whatever. By the time he took the blame she had moved on from it. She has in the past reached out to me but I have chosen to let that be as it was left. She never pursued any mental health treatment and had some theories it was her phone or just something bugged out.
You do however bring up a good point, at that time in my life I was making poor choices like this and frustrated with a lot of things. The reaction to this could have been worse, but it’s all in the past and it seems like no harm was done, except maybe to a 45yo coke head.
Other people, of course, praised him for the prank, because: this is Reddit and men love other men “getting back” at cheating women.
Where do you fall? Think this was great or do you think he should’ve shown a little more restraint?
