Ruin My Week
You’ve seen her in movies, reality television, and, if you’re unlucky enough, even real life: Bridezilla.
Her unreasonableness is legendary and the list of atrocities she’s been known to commit is as long as the satiny white train on her dress.
Like Bigfoot or the Slenderman we speak about her in hushed tones lest she rampage her way into our lives and throw a fit about the flower arrangements.
But what happens after the tear-soaked, tantrum-laden wedding day?
Someone on Reddit recently asked: “Guys who married Bridezillas—what happened after the wedding?”
Since the very concept of a Bridezilla is limited to the person in question’s behavior leading up to and during a wedding…the question of what became of these mythical creatures once they settled into married life was an intriguing one.
Their “Bridezilla-to-Wifezilla” horror stories did not disappoint.
1.
Divorce after 2 years, she moved her stuff out while I was at work. I cried and then when I got remarried to someone new, I realized what real love was. Also, my ex shit herself on 5 separate occasions when she was black out drunk because she was an alcoholic. So I don’t miss that either.
2.
Got into a huge fight about broccoli on the honeymoon, all my fault of course. I knew then it was a mistake, toughed it out for two more years of abuse before I left. So glad I did.
3.
My brother’s fiancé went off on my mom in front of me and my sister when he was 45 minutes late to the rehearsal due to his best man’s car tire blowing out. “Where is your asshole of a son?!!?” Dude should have never showed up for the wedding.
Not only a bridezilla, but a total utter sociopath. Her life was completely fabricated and her parents (who didn’t show up for the wedding) called my mom to tell her the truth about it the day after. She had a rap sheet a mile long and a prison record. But my brother, who just wanted to believe that people can change, stuck it out for 7 years. Don’t do that. Don’t ever ever do that.
4.
Married for seven years before I bailed, best decision of my life. Got married again 5 years later to a girl that just wanted a justice of the peace wedding, second best decision of my life.
5.
First wife was a Bridezilla. During the honeymoon she realized she was married and the wedding day was history. She wanted the big wedding, which she had, not the marriage. The next two years were hell until she finally tapped out. I was young and stupid and the thought of divorce never crossed my mind. I don’t know why it didn’t. I guess I just assumed I’d be miserable the rest of my life. When she told me she was leaving it felt as if the weight of the world was off of my shoulders. On a happy note her parents were still paying off the wedding when we divorced. That’s what happens when you allow your daughter everything she wanted….including 2 wedding dresses.
6.
I married a bridezilla. He is a lovely sweet thoughtful man but boy did he lose it surrounding the wedding. I could have been married with about three special people there. He needed 200+. As far as I was concerned we could eat off paper plates and napkins and have a big bon fire to burn them afterwards. He need personalized moist towelettes. You get the point. He is a lovely person and I love him dearly but I will never marry him again.
7.
Married a bridezilla. In the 18 months we were married, she was such an unfit mother (too many instances to list here), that when the divorce was finalized, I got custody of our kid AND the kid she had prior to our marriage.
Also, she was a blackout drunk and cheated on me with several different men. Final straw was when I had to travel out of state to check on my grandmother. I came back a day early, saw used Marlboros in the ashtray – not her brand – I don’t smoke – and then I heard grunting and groaning in the bedroom. Yep, there she was. And there he was. And there HE was. Devil’s Triangle. Contacted a divorce lawyer the next day, finalized it as fast as possible.
8.
Married a groomzilla. We are talking costume changes between wedding and reception, yelling at the wedding planner, drag-out-all-night fights about whether we can add fruit kabobs so people would maybe get enough to eat, all that.
There was zero compromise; he made a lot of promises for things I had been wanting after the wedding and they never materialized, like a beach vacation and such.
Turns out, no compromise at the wedding meant no compromise anywhere else, so I left him after four years of marriage.
Best decision ever!!!
9.
I didn’t marry the Bridezilla, but I had coordinated her wedding. We had a death in the family (6-month-old baby) a few days prior to the wedding. I called the bride and told her the situation, and said that my assistant would be stepping in for me so that I could attend the funeral.
She told me to send my assistant to the funeral and that I had better be at her wedding. I told her I would be sending her a refund and that no one would be coming to her wedding. The groom ended up leaving her after this whole thing went down, suffice to say he really dodged a bullet there.
10.
She stabbed me in the thigh during the meal at our wedding. Still in prison.
