The entire time I scrolled through this list, I couldn’t get that image of the woman and man in divorce court splitting up their Beanie Babies. I know the Beanie Babies probably weren’t the cause of divorce, but I have to imagine it probably didn’t help?
Anyway — u/KlyonneSpencer asked
“Divorce lawyers of Reddit, what is the most ridiculous reason your client filed divorce for?”
And Reddit delivered.
1. Poop stains
“I deal with a lot of divorces at work. I once reviewed a complaint for divorce because the wife always left poop stains in the toilet.” —jessicag67
2. Fell for a scam
“One of our consults came in because his wife had been proposed to by one of those online scam people posing as the Prince of Turkey or something. She fell for it and was going to give him $45,000 and move to Turkey to marry him. She even said to him, ‘If it doesn’t work out, I’ll come back.'” —Alyssa Galloway, Facebook
3. WHAT?
“My client divorced her husband because he insisted on bringing his mother on their honeymoon. The reason? Because his mother was STILL breastfeeding him. Yes, the husband, a grown man, was still breastfeeding.” —omgiscarolein
4. Wrong hot dogs
“One of my coworkers has been married seven times. One time she divorced a guy because he was ‘too good-looking’ and she couldn’t trust him. Another time she divorced a man because he came home with the wrong brand of hotdogs that she told him to buy. I wish I was making this up.” —r4092d
5. Pranks
“I knew someone who broke off an engagement because her fiancé kept pulling pranks on her, like buying fake lottery tickets and stuff. In her eyes, he was humiliating her in front of friends and family. It was almost like he was running social experiments on her to see how she’d react.” —sierraclouse
6. That’s flat up shitty
“My friend’s sister was a strict vegetarian. One night her husband gave her fish and meat, but she thought it was a meat substitute. When she found out it was real meat, she divorced him.” —rayabhuiyan5
7. Eh, I’d probably leave too
“My friend divorced her husband because she read his text messages and saw that he was talking crap about her dogs to his friends. Her DOGS.” —missstabby
8. Too much Starbucks
“My mom told me that the breaking point of her marriage was when she found out my dad spent $65 a week at Starbucks.” —jasminet43f6
9. Ewwwww.
“I knew a couple who got divorced after the wife walked in on her husband who was rubbing poop from their baby’s diaper all over his body…” —clairew469
10. Didn’t see paintings similarly
“In the ’70s, when mundane middle-class people did ridiculous things, my aunt’s husband and the father of her two children divorced her because they ‘no longer saw the same things in paintings.'” —violinfemmes
11. No sharing
“One of my clients got a divorce because his partner would keep the chips they bought in the car so she wouldn’t have to share them with his family during reunions.” —Veronica Ruiz, Facebook
12. Coffee request
“I had a client file for divorce because every morning his wife would ask him how he takes his coffee. EVERY morning for seven years.” —blanksmitty
13. Via Note
“My aunt divorced my uncle via a note. It was written on the brown paper wrapping of a pork roast, and it read, ‘I’m leaving you for Diane.’ My uncle wasn’t sure which to be more confused about: that she divorced him via pig steak missive, or that she was a lesbian. Her being a lesbian obviously isn’t a weird reason to get divorced, but it’s a great story, and kudos to my aunt for coming out and leaving her husband at a time (in the ’70s) when both were arguably less popular than they are now.” —violinfemmes
14. She’s AWFUL!
“My cousin divorced his wife because, after his wife’s father murdered two people in a robbery-gone-wrong, she defended him and harassed the victim’s family over Facebook.” —s40e54bf96
15. He chose his sisters
“I knew someone who got divorced the same day they got married. The groom was dancing with his sister at the reception, and the bride asked to cut in. His sister tried to punch her in the face but missed and punched the bride’s sister. All hell broke loose. The night ended with the bride asking the groom to choose between her or his sisters. He chose his sisters. The dinner hadn’t even been served yet! I’m sure the bride ignored countless red flags.” —Carolina Rodriguez de Saucedo, Facebook