Kate Hackett
Marriage can be hard. You’re asked to compromise with another person every single moment of every single day. And divorce can look like a very viable option after years of drudgery. It’s sad. But sometimes it’s the right move.
Redditor u/Slayer_of_Gingers asked men:
“What moment with your former wife made me think ‘Yup, I’m asking this girl to divorce me?'”
They received a lot of really great replies. We’ve rounded up some of the best ones for you to read through. Get a tissue.
1. Yikes
When my buddies approached me to complain that she kept sitting on their laps, wiggling, and hoping for an erection.
2. Mismatched finances
I was a Lance Corporal bringing home scraps for a paycheck to an unemployed wife who one day brought home a brand new Lexus IS350 because she “got a good deal on it.” Apparently I was supposed to pay the $800/mo bill. I didn’t think it was a good deal.
3. More money
Not me, but one of my best friends(got his permission to post). He got a pretty substantial year end bonus from work. He decided to use most of it for his wife’s Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans (~$14,700) and the remaining portion to buy a new computer chair for when he gamed (~$300).
Christmas morning (he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work as he lived 20 minutes from the airport) we all woke up, and had breakfast. His family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts.
Besides paying off her loans, he had gotten her a few times items. She opened the card saying her loans were paid off she just sat there for a minute. After the silence, and assuming she was kinda in shock, she asked “did you seriously not get me anything else? I bought you that stupid keyboard (the wrong one btw) and you only got me a few things?”
At that point, his brother in law and myself decided to go hang out in another room for a while they ended up getting into a huge fight. A day later when he was dropping me off at the airport he told me that he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce.
4. Lied
When she falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her.
The next week, she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying. He gave me a “You should leave this relationship” look. I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn’t making the wrong decision. Got divorced and never looked back.
I legitimately feared for my safety towards the end — not that she would hurt me, but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend.
5. Not my kid
She let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all her girlfriends during a girls’ night out.
Since I knew there was no possible way it was my child, she was also unknowingly admitting to having an affair. (I can math, and she can’t). It was with her boss.
Lawyered up the next day, and he ate her alive in court. I got primary custody of our child we already had, and child support, and a sheriff’s notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days.
I never knew she could be that stupid.
6. Sad
When a friend’s wife said to me “You know your wife is sleeping with my husband.”
7. Oh NO
The morning I saw a picture of some dudes dick on her phone. She was classy enough to bring him to the divorce proceedings…
8. Mistreating the kids
When my stepdaughter became a teenager, my ex ramped up the nutso. She had always been an impatient, angry screamer of a parent. But as my stepdaugher became a young woman, my ex just went crazy with envy or something. I know lots of moms have a hard time with teenage daughters, but their base level patience is so much better than my ex’s was. Threats of cutting hair in middle of night while daughter slept, pulling hair, slapping face, ridiculing in front of her friends, swinging something that missed and put a hole in the wall – I was out, with the kids.
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9. Around less and less
My wife was around less & less…had to be free to live her life, go out with her friends. More often than not she would call me to pick our daughter up from daycare, after promising to pick her up & have some girl time…..just tell her I’m working late or not feeling well. She always had something better to do & the kids were old enough to know better. I went to pick our daughter up one day, when they called her name she came running over until she saw it wasn’t mom, again, slumped her shoulders & slowly walked over to ask “what’s her excuse this time?” That was the breaking point, told her to get out, even helped pay her security deposit to get her out.
10. Oprah
She made me watch Oprah and there was a quiz. “Is Your Marriage Okay Or Not” type thing. In my head I saw 7 or 10 items that were Not Okay. She didn’t see any. We had already been to counseling.
11. Another affair
I was working on a mother daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her. Was going through her Google photos account looking for pics of them together. Came across a selfie she took with some dude laying on her. Confirmed her second affair. Knew it was over the moment I saw it. That has fucked me up pretty good.
12. I can’t even wrap my mind around this one
We flew across the country for her sister’s wedding. She didn’t say a word to me the entire time since we had parked at the airport. Once we landed at our destination, we walked to baggage claim (absolute silence preceding for several hours now). At the carousel, I picked up her bag when she took it out of my hand and calmly stated, “None of my family knows you’re here—I told them I came alone.” She walked out of the airport and left me there.
13. Abuse
During the last year and a half of our marriage she became extremely psychologically abusive. She was a narcissist, controlled my every move, would isolate me, refused physical contact, I was just an extension to her life, was not allowed to talk to any female, was not allowed to hang out with any friends or she would ignore me for up to 5 days at a time, double standards everywhere, verbal abuse and the list can continue but it hurts to think about. The last straw for me was when she threatened to kill me because I came home from work late even though she knew I would be home late. It was just a little too late for her and she also threatened to hit me the same day. This was the second time this happened and I talked with several people at work about it and they suggested that I run. I had texts of the threats on my phone and contacted a lawyer that same week. She agreed to sign since I told her I would take severe legal action if she didn’t. Thankfully no children and it was a clean divorce and I’m happily divorced.
14. Inappropriate what now?
When she presented a picture of our four-year-old daughter and me laying next to each other on the couch watching Blues Clues to our marriage counselor as evidence of my “inappropriate conduct” around our kids.
Thank God he saw right through that bullshit immediately and told her to knock it off.
15. She stopped noticing
I used to love to do chores for her because she loved being taken care of. When she stopped noticing, it started hurting. Then one day I made a bench for our entryway out of barnwood. Took about 40 hours of work. She walked in the house after work that day and sat her purse on it and proceeded to start the fight where she told me that she was mad she got married to me. She stormed out of the house grabbing her purse. Never noticed the bench was there. I knew then but I think she already knew.
16. Other guy’s name
When my 2 year old was learning to talk he would consistently say another blokes name. Apparently he was there the moment i left for work till when i got home. Single Dad for 5 years with primary custody now.
17. Sexting
Finding her, on Christmas Eve Eve, still sexting a co-worker whom she claimed she was no longer in contact with (having been busted sexting him previously, also). I cleared out of there like a blackjack dealer.
18. Nope!
When, after being in Afghanistan for 8 months (May ’02-Nov ’02), she was missing, had my car, finding two random women with kids and pets living in the apartment I paid for, the electricity cut off, no money in my bank account, a pay advance authorized by my commander, and a friend telling me to go easy on her because she was 5 months pregnant with his kid.
19. My bride and her husband
My neighbor’s wife screaming “Putana!” downstairs after she caught my bride and her husband fucking in front of the fireplace.
20. She left me
When she moved out while I was camping with 2 of our sons and there was no discussion of whether her leaving was permanent or potentially temporary in her view.
