Kate Hackett
Here we have a tale of a pretty obvious Not The Asshole, but let’s make sure we read through the entire story before we make our judgment.
u/deliahdyno recently asked the AITA sub, “AITA for dropping our dinner on the ground and walking out when my boyfriend asked me “What’s for dinner tonight, b*tch?””
She explains that she cooked her guy dinner to help him while he studied for exams. When she told him it was ready, he asked, “What’s for dinner tonight BITCH?”
I was over my boyfriend’s apartment this weekend and I was cooking dinner because he was studying for exams. I made pasta and a chunky sauce with meatballs and veggies. I told him dinner was ready and he goes “what’s for dinner tonight, B*TCH” … With like a lot of emphasis on the last word.
OP was furious, so she dropped the pot of sauce on the ground and told him to never use that word.
I was fed up, I’d had a pretty rough day with work and I have some awfully bad associations with that word being used by other people in my life who were pretty abusive. So I was so irritated that I dropped the pot of pasta sauce I’d been carrying right on the ground and was like “Well nothing’s for dinner tonight now. And I better not hear you using that word again, it’s for the girls”
The guy freaked about the sauce on his rug and told her she was acting like a bitch.
He was freaking out about how sauce had landed on his rug and he even said “you’re seriously acting like a bitch right now, I dunno what else to call it”
So OP left and stayed with a friend. Her guy tried to explain that the quote was a TikTok trend and he was just kidding.
I just walked out and got takeout for myself and went to my friends house. She thought it was funny but my boyfriend was furious, he kept texting and calling and sending me voice memos trying to explain that saying “what’s for dinner tonight b*tch” was a TikTok trend…. And that he was just quoting something as a joke to put on tiktok.
Here OP might be shades of unreasonable – it sounds like her guy made a mistake. It landed terribly. Seems forgivable? But OP didn’t care about the explanation, it was disrespectful.
I thought that was the shittiest excuse ever, it doesn’t matter if he saw it as a joke, or stole the “joke”, it was still disrespectful.
And she’s angry that he even thought it was funny, or that he would make jokes at all.
But it didn’t change the fact he thought that shit was funny, to demean me when I was trying to do him a favor. Like hell I came over when he was studying to make a home cooked dinner and he decides it’s time for jokes? So I put my phone on don’t disturb for the night and split a bottle of wine with my friend and her roommate.
The next day, OP saw on her phone that he had texted her demanding she clean his rug.
The next morning he was sending me angry texts demanding I clean his rug because he was too busy with exams to do it. I was shocked he left it overnight, that’s disgusting.
OP basically said no, do your own chores.
I texted him back saying. “Yeah so that’s the btch tax honey 🙂 leave me alone till you’re ready to handle your own cooking and cleaning because this btch isn’t anymore. Also it’s vile you left that soaking in all night”
He called me and told me that he was okay with doing his own household work, but I did throw a full pot of sauce at the ground so that’s on me to clean up.
But the boyfriend pointed out that her throwing sauce isn’t really his chore. She said she STILL felt like he saw her as “your bitch”.
I told him “yeah no I’m not comfortable doing chores for you if you see me like your b*tch”
He tried again to explain it was a trend and she threw that back at him too.
He told me he didn’t and it was just a “trend” and I got pissed off he was playing that “TikTok trend” BS excuse again and I told him “Well I’m starting a trend called ‘saucing’ where as a little joke people throw pasta sauce around! You can’t be mad because it’s just a little trend, a little jokey joke, just a little prank bro!”
OP FINALLY seems to get that a dumb TikTok joke is getting between her relationship, so she wonders if she as an asshole.
He got really pissed off and hung up on me and now I’m seriously wondering if this dumb fucking tiktok joke is gonna be the end of things between us
AITA for how I reacted when my boyfriend asked me “what’s for dinner tonight, b*tch”
Edit to address a comment I’ve gotten a lot and I don’t have time to reply to every time:
Here we have OP displaying the annoying “he should just know” quality everybody hates.
“But did you tell him not to call you a bitch? Like how would he know otherwise?”
Honestly if someone has gotten to the age of 30 and not realized that women (as a whole) do not like having demeaning slurs used against them… They’re beyond my help.
This isn’t something that needs to be told. I shouldn’t have to go through life like “Hey man just in case you were thinking I might like demeaning slurs against my gender used on me, I don’t actually :)”
And fairly points out that women don’t like being called a bitch. That said, guy just told a joke and misfired.
And if you were about to comment something like that, let me just tell you in no uncertain terms… WOMEN DO NOT LIKE BEING CALLED BITCHES BY MEN. DO NOT CALL WOMEN BITCHES. IF YOU NEEDED TO BE TOLD THAT IS UNKIND, CONSIDER YOURSELF OFFICIALLY TOLD. NOW YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE TO NOT “UNDERSTAND”
I think her reaction is WAY outsized for what this was and she could have (should have) communicated to him why she found that SO offensive.
Reddit did offer some clarification:
And made it clear that he was wrong.
