Dating isn’t a game.
Let me repeat this: DATING IS NOT A GAME.
You are not there to manipulate somehow who is ostensibly your partner in life. You are not there to hurt him or her, you are not there to “trick” this person into being with you. So if that’s some crap you pull, a) stop and b) make sure you read this Reddit post from ThrowRA-doistink.
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and everything has been great except for one thing. Every single day, at least once, he will tell me that I stink and smell of b.o.
He’s great (…I guess) except he constantly tells her she smells bad.
When we met I showered every day, applied regular deodorant in the morning, brushed my teeth three times a day. Now I am so paranoid about smelling bad that I shower at least twice a day, I apply new industrial strength deodorant every few hours (I have a reminder on my phone), perfume, and I brush my teeth anytime I eat or drink something that isn’t water.
So she did what a normal person does when a loved one tells them something: she tried so hard to fix it! She over-showered, over-deodorized, over-brushed… Did it work? No, of course not.
I feel like I’m going crazy. I didn’t think I smelled bad in the beginning and I don’t think I smell bad now but I obviously smell bad to him right? I’m that weirdo that keeps “sneakily” smelling their own armpits. I have been to the doctor and he has said there is nothing medically wrong. It has honestly gotten to the point where I literally shove my arm pit in friends and families faces asking if I smell bad, they all say I don’t smell like b.o. at all, one friend even said I smelled too clean like a lush store.
And, naturally, she felt like she was losing her mind because NOTHING SHE DID WORKED for this guy.
I am getting so paranoid. He won’t cuddle or anything when he says I smell. I really don’t know what more I can do?
So she asked Reddit, wtf does she do?
Update – so unexpected edit. I waited for him to make a comment this morning so I could talk to him. It was less than an hour after waking up that he said “god you stink” I had already showered and put on deodorant. I snapped and asked what exactly was he smelling because, at this point I’m one of the cleanest people on the planet and if I still smell bad to him then we should just break up.
And a little while later, she finally snapped at him and asked him the most logical of questions: if she smells so bad to him, why are they together?
He got all panicked and upset, I eventually got out of him that this is what he father always said to his mother. Apparently his father told him that is was a sure fire technique to have a woman never leave you because “she will feel too low to cheat, will love only you, and will always be clean”.
Needless to say, his father is wrong. He’s packing his things and moving out of my house today.
WELL, DEAR READER, she does not, in fact, smell bad. She smells great. He thought he could KEEP HER WITH HIM by endlessly abusing her confidence.
So, yeah, f that guy. And for once, Reddit & I are in absolute accord.
WavesnMountains calls this ish OUT: “He’s negging you so that you’re desperate to earn his approval. Break up with the piece of shit.”
Thank god OP did just this! “Your edit shows how utterly pathetic and manipulative he is. How disgusting of him. He drove you insane and caused you emotional distress and didn’t even bat an eyelash. Him and his father are pieces of s***. Get rid of him, and tell his sorry ass to go get therapy and stop being such an emotionally abusive trash can. Yuck. Go take care of yourself love. And breathe,” wrote -dingbat-.
Me too, me too. “That update SENT me oh my word. What an asshat. Good for you for standing up for yourself,” from libra10101988.
Good luck out there, OP. You’re a hero.