Kate Hackett
I think that pretty much every woman over 25 has a solid handle on her “men horror stories.” Like, we’ve all had them, right? Maybe it was the guy who sent you 500 gifs after you said “thanks, no thanks” to more dates. Or perhaps it was the dude who led you on for three years when you told him you liked him.
Whatever it was, whoever it was, we have them and they’re heartbreaking.
u/Morganlovesu recently asked the women of Reddit:
“What are your insecure men horror stories?”
So we combed through and grabbed the best / worst stories.
1. Slept with two more people
He dumped me because he believed I had slept with 2 more people than him (I hadn’t told him my real number in the first place, it’s no one else’s business, but it was actually a lot higher than 2 more). He stewed on it for 3 years before dumping me because he felt like less of a man – he’s the man so his number should have been higher. He asked me back out six months later because he had slept with 3 people, making his number higher than mine and making me acceptable to date again.
What he failed to realise is that I wasn’t celibate for that six months. His additional 3 didn’t even cover my original, true number, never mind cover the additional people I slept with in that six months. Idiot. A man asking me that question now is a huge red flag and I don’t entertain men like that. I back out immediately.
2. Got mad about a dying mother
I got married very young and my mother died of cancer shortly before our one year anniversary (I was 19 going on 20).
My now ex husband stated that I chose my mother over him since I spent so much time with her while she was dying. He also would get upset with me for grieving and crying in the year after she died.
3. Cheating on him with a CANDLE
I had an ex who was pissed at me at a Bath & Body Works because I wanted to get a musky, cologne scented candle. His stance was that it was basically cheating because it ‘smelled like a man.’ And yes, he was serious.
4. Height
When I was 20 I was dating a man for about 4 or 5 months. We were going out to a halloween party with a bunch of his friends. He and I were roughly the same height. Not thinking about it I wore heels. I met him at the party and he told me I had to change my shoes. I didn’t have other shoes with me and I was an hour from home since this was on his college campus. He wouldn’t talk to me the entire night and when we got back to his place he screamed at me for an hour that I was an embarrassment. All because he was insecure about his height. I didn’t care about his height. I dated two other men who were my height. The one stood on tippy toes the one time i saw him while wearing heels. The other never gave a shit about height and was confident. Guess which one I stayed friends with.
5. Jealous of a work partner
I was dating a guy for about a month when this particular incident happened. We worked in similar-ish fields (paramedic and police officer) and that’s how we met. It’s also important to note that my paramedic partner was a man. We were set to go on a date one Friday but I cancelled due to a nasty migraine. My partner brought me medicine (being a long time paramedic he had a good idea of what would help) and shortly after he left I got a text from the guy asking why another man had come to my apartment. Apparently he had been sitting outside my apartment all day to make sure I didn’t go anywhere or see anyone else. He had met my partner before so he knew what he looked like. And my partner was only over long enough to drop off some medicine and feed my dog. We didn’t last long after that.
6. A Flower?
I drew a picture of a flower on a bar napkin and gave it to my then-boyfriend, and he glared at me and said “when you do stuff like this it makes me feel so small”
7. Manly glass
One of my fav stories that I bring up routinely is from when I was a bartender. Had a 40 something year old gentleman and a lady come in and sit at the bar. He ordered a gin martini, and ordered for his companion as well. I made it, and served it to him. His face instantly dropped and he looked absolutely INSULTED. I confirmed that I got his order correct, and he assured me he ordered a martini. But he was furious I put it in a martini glass. I explained how it was a martini and it was literally designed for the drink he ordered. He demanded to get a “manly” glass. I made one in a rocks glass and he was fine…
I understand some people like stemless glasses or have issues with certain glassware and I have no problem accommodating, but I’ll never forget this man having a full on fit because his glass was emasculating him.
8. Took a knock on her job
Dated a guy who would make fun of me for having rolls on my stomach (thanks) and then maybe 1-2 years after we broke up, we had talked to each other as he still owed me like $2000 that he made excuses for why he couldn’t pay. He asked me what I do for a living and I proceed to tell him I got a job at a gaming company and he drops “you were just hired because you are a woman” to which I kindly told him to fuck off and that I was selected in the end out of like hundreds of people and it had nothing to do with my gender. Jealous and insecure men always find a way to invalidate your success.
9. Before dating
Dunno if it’s just insecurity or sexism, probably a mix of both. My ex claimed he was deeply traumatized when he learned that his previous partner had a couple of one night stands before dating him, said he could never trust her again after she “confessed” to this.
10. I went to grad school
Threw a tantrum when I started pondering going to grad school because he couldn’t be with a woman with more education. The amount of contempt I developed for him during that despicable display of insecurity cannot be described. But, we’re the weak ones, umm k.
11. What a nightmare dude
My first relationship was with a guy that felt the need to talk about the hot models and actresses he had had sex with before me.
I literally never asked and it wasn’t relevant to anything but he still showed me these girls Instagrams as if he wanted a medal for how much of a stud he was.
Anyway, the guy was terrible with money and always running to mommy and daddy for cash handouts, never gave me an orgasm, was a high school dropout, balding by 23 and already had a drinking problem.
I saw why none of these hot women were still with him.
Also upon further inspection half of the girls weren’t even following him back on social media. He just made himself look like an utter fool.
12. Scary
My first relationship was with a fairly verbally and physically abusive guy. When I finally left him and entered my last relationship, he would randomly show up outside of my apartment “just to check in on me.” Once his random appearances started to go ignored, he would begin to show up more often and with groups of his guy friends in an attempt to intimidate me.
One of my roommates at the time worked in the leasing office and was able to get the situation under control, but it was a scary couple of months.
13. What in the actual?
Was in the process of divorcing my husband. He happened to be in the room when I got a phone call with a job offer. I told him the salary, which wasn’t glamorous but was a good $12K-$17K more than he’d ever made within any year in the marriage, plus Cadillac benefits (none of his jobs had ever carried benefits).
What he should have said: “Congratulations!”
What he actually said: “Well I’m gonna be making TWICE THAT MUCH!”
His shitty, commission-only job with no benefits definitely was not about to start paying twice as much as my new salary.
He came to divorce court bragging that he makes twice my salary. So the judge set his child support payments really high based on his fictitious self-proclaimed earnings.
14. Women’s work
Refusing to take care of his own child when I was around because that’s women’s work. Specially if any of his buddies were around.
15. Height again!
Met a guy at work who asked me out. I suggested we go play pool. He asked me if I was any good and I said I had good and bad days. He responded “Well, if you beat me, we’ll have to play something else so I can beat you”.
I should have ended all communication at that point.
I did not.
We met at a bar with pool tables. He scratched twice during the first two games and announced, “Since you didn’t technically beat me, I’m not losing.”
Then he looked at me and asked “Are you taller than me?”
I said we looked like we were the same height but that wasn’t good enough. He asked a waitress.
She looked.
Me: I’m 5’6”.
He: I’m 5’6”.
She: You’re the same height <pause> I’m 5’9”I laughed.
Why he was surprised I didn’t want to go out again is beyond me.
16. The fastest turn
When I broke up with my ex he spent months trying to get me back. Letters, flowers, a proposal, reaching out to my friends and family, to name just a few of his tactics. He was abusive and manipulative so it took me just as long to put my foot down and tell him to fuck off for good. When it was finally clear that I wasn’t going to come back to him, he flipped from “I love you you’re perfect I would do anything for you” to “I never loved you” in a heart beat. I was the first time he ever was told “no” and didn’t get his way so he was wildly insecure and tried to control the situation.
17. Big words
I got yelled at because me and my friends used “big words” (not English) at a party. He was drunk and worked himself into a rage fit over weird shit and this was what surfaced. His lower level of education was never a problem for me, and I didn’t know it was for him until then. So bizzare.
18. This guy’s actually sort of sweet
I was dating a very nice boy who seemed not to have an opinion on anything. When I tried talking to him about it, and about how I didn’t even feel like I knew him even after a month of dates, he told me “tell me what you want and that’s what I’ll be.”
Yikes. I hope he’s gotten therapy since then, truly.
19. Such a big yikes
Not letting me see any of my friends unless he was with me and he didn’t like them so it was always awkward.
He wouldn’t take me to see my mom ( I didn’t drive then) so I went 1 1/2 years without seeing her except for twice when I snuck to see her once I started to drive. I dated him from 20-25. 5 years of bullshit
20. JFC HARD NOPE
“But if you keep your last name, my friends will think I’m whipped,” he whined, very masculinely.
