Man Doesn’t Want To Propose A Second Time, And His Girlfriend Is Pissed

There are probably way more successful proposals and engagements that we don’t hear about than there are horrible proposals. It’s always stories of the horrible ones that end up on the internet, like this one from throwRAproposa1, which has been captivating both Reddit and Twitter.

They posted it on r/relationship_advice because they were obviously seeking advice. Everyone is pretty much telling him the same thing and it doesn’t look good for his relationship.

OP writes that he proposed to his girlfriend, who he has been with for four years:

I did it at home, as she has said that she wouldn’t want a public proposal. I tried to make it feel special. I made an elaborate meal from scratch, and afterward, i popped the question.

Long story short, her answer was that she loves me and wants to marry me someday, but isn’t ready to take the step to be engaged. I said that we could wait a while before actually getting married, but she still didn’t want to become engaged.

He goes on to say he respects her wishes and while he was disappointed he’s not mad at her about it. But then a few days later, he says his girlfriend made an offhand comment that referenced his future second proposal:

I told her that I thought she should propose. In essence, my point was that I had already asked, she knows i’m ready, my cards are “on the table.” Also, I already planned and executed a proposal. I put a lot of work into it to make it sentimental, and I don’t feel like I should have to re-create that moment.

She disagrees, and seems to feel like im punishing her.

This is putting a lot of strain on us, and Im not sure how to bridge this impasse.

You know what, I agree with him, and so do a lot of people in the comments. She already knows he wants to get married. Is he expected to check in every six to eight months and risk getting rejected again? How many proposals are enough? Getting rejected that much can’t be good for a relationship.

On the other hand, as one commenter said, making a home-cooked meal isn’t that big of a deal. This all seems like something they should be talking about with an actual marriage counselor:

The story made it to Twitter and many people agreed that she didn’t get a second proposal or that they needed to communicate better:

It definitely depends on the meal because some are very difficult and take hours to make. People can be mad at both of them for making assumptions but yeah there's no need for anyone to be mad that her for wanting a proposal that's meaningful and right for both of them

— éowyn, shieldmaiden of rohan (@onlyzaboomafoo) March 8, 2021

I see this take every so often on this page that I have to wonder.. are y'all cooking wagyu steak every night, so the concept of an extravagant home cooked meal is so alien or normalized? Like there's very likely a big difference in their weekday cooking than the meal he prepared

— gav the destroyer (@HouseofDewane) March 8, 2021

Because frankly, no one tells us to!

Honestly, you're right. Every couple should have a discussion about how they would be okay with getting proposed to if that's the next step. That really doesn't take away from how special the moment is 😭 it can still be a "surprise"!

— scantily chad™️💕🪽 (@teaandstrumpet) March 8, 2021

Or hear me out, they regularly talk about how they both feel about the relationship and then whoever asks has a guaranteed he’s.

— Gina B (@ahungoverbadger) March 8, 2021

When did proposals become something elaborate that had to be “planned and executed?”

— Not Actually a Cat (@PKLong62) March 8, 2021

This is 2021 not 1921. Make her propose.

— mAtt (@wtfdyjstm) March 8, 2021

Overall, this doesn’t seem like a great start to a marriage. Good thing she said no.