Kate Hackett
It is very, very hard to find your person (trust me, I friggin’ know) and after a while, you may just want to jump all in. But given that marriage is friggin HARD, it’s pretty important to be able to iron out a lot of kinks.
And it’s important to keep all these little things in mind as you date someone! After all, if you’re looking for your match, shouldn’t you spot problems early?
Redditor u/thecountnotthesaint recently asked, “What random marriage advice sounded absurd but was actually spot on helpful?”
1. Best buddy
“Marry your best friend — the person you like to have random conversations with, who interests you, who makes you laugh a lot. Marry the one you can spend all your time with, the one who will support you in tough times and good times. That is ‘the one’.” —u/DeanSmartin
2. Huge bed
“My father always said that the best thing he and my mother did for their marriage was get a king-sized bed. I always thought it was ridiculous advice until recently, when my wife and I needed a new bed. We spent the extra money on a king, and I’ll be damned if that wasn’t one of the best decisions we have made. The extra room is amazing: We can snuggle or have some space, and when our kids try and get in bed, there’s enough room that no one is getting a foot to the face.” —u/thecountnotthesaint
3. Eat.
“When an argument is brewing, stop and eat something. You may just be hangry.” —u/Far_Opportunity_8690
4. Be kind
“My dad always said to be kind even if you’re not feeling it. Maybe especially if you’re not feeling it.” —u/semantician
5. Is it worth it?
“Decide whether or not a fight is really worth having. Think: ‘If it doesn’t matter tomorrow, does it really matter today?'”—Daenaries
6. Dishes
“My grandfather told me, ‘Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.’ What I learned is that he would always help my grandma (both with the dishes and other chores), and during these mundane tasks was when they did most of their talking.” —u/t480
7. Just because
“‘Just because’ flowers are the best kind of flowers.” —u/agaribay1010
8. Driving
“Don’t criticize one another’s driving. It’ll lead you down a dark path.” —u/nellucd
9. Normal
“‘Don’t worry about what other people think is ‘normal.’ I’ve been married for almost 20 years, and this piece of insight has made all the difference. You don’t need to conform to society’s standards. Do what works for you and your partner in a marriage.” —Lizardo94
10. Solo blankets
“Have separate duvets or blankets on the same bed. I can wrap myself up nice and snug, and she can move around all night without bothering me.” —ColonialSpore
11. Keep dating
“If you’re doing marriage right, the ‘dating phase’ of your relationship never ends.” —u/FarWoods
12. Realistic
“The best advice I ever got is to have realistic expectations of one another. Lofty expectations that go unmet are the root of unhappiness.” —u/BluePinky
13. Go ahead and get some rest
“It is ok to go to bed angry. Everyone says not to go to bed angry, but sometimes, a night of sleep is exactly what you need. Sleeping on an argument can change your perspective and help with resolution.” —u/Virtual-Cupcake-1510
14. You marry the family
“Remember: You don’t just marry [them]…you marry [their] whole damn family.” —u/crazyprsn
15. You’ll miss them
“‘The little things that annoy you now are the things you’ll miss one day.’ My stepmom recently passed away, and my dad told me this piece of advice that profoundly changed my attitude. The constant annoyances — leaving the toilet bowl up or not washing globs of toothpaste from the sink — are the things that will leave the biggest void. Don’t nag about the little things. Rather, embrace them.” —u/drewkungfu
16. You vs. The Problem
“On our wedding day, my father-in-law said, ‘Always remember it’s the two of you against the problem, not you two against one another.’ It’s been great advice, especially when we disagree. Focusing on this piece of advice has calmed a lot of arguments over the years.” —u/XANDERtheSHEEPDOG
17. Sleep well
“It’s totally OK to sleep in separate beds…or even separate rooms if that’s what works for you. I am not going to be a good partner if I only get four hours of sleep because I was listening to him snore all night, or if jobs require different sleeping schedules and you take a while to get to sleep.” —u/Educational-Candy-17
18. Marry them for who they are
“Marry them for who they are now. Not for their potential.” —u/There-is-No-Beyond
19. Groceries
“The advice I was given is: ‘If you can go grocery shopping with your person and have a great time, you have yourself a keeper.’ I’ve been married for 15 years, and I give this same advice to other couples. A marriage is all about making the best of the mundane experiences. After years of being together, life becomes predictable. You’ll need to keep things fun, regardless of what you’re doing.” —u/LemonFizzy0000
20. Sacrifices
“‘Never ask your partner to make a sacrifice for you that you wouldn’t make for them if the roles were reversed.” —jillannk3
