85% of marriage is saying “what?” From the other room…
— ((( Jack Lincoln ))) (@jackifus) January 9, 2020
my gf does truly insane things with TP, i started an instagram to document this phenomenon pic.twitter.com/AMerGUwtw0
— rare-earth elemental (@pelotom) January 9, 2020
My spouse will take groceries out of the bag and instead of putting the grocery item into its designated spot directly from the bag, he will put everything out on the kitchen counter and then put the groceries away one by one.
— Christa Bishmark (@christabishmark) January 9, 2020
Husband likes to hit snooze for a solid hour. I like sleeping for the entire hour and not being woken up 6 times (every 10 mins) during it and just setting the alarm for the correct time, not an hour early. He “can’t wake up that fast”. That’s the 15 year (and counting) fight.
— Rebecca Johnson (@r_johnson83) January 9, 2020
She removes eggs from either end of the egg carton, so eggs are left only in the center. I move all the eggs to one end, so when you grab the front of the carton, you’re holding the center of gravity.
We have silently been moving eggs back and forth in the carton for years.
— Tim Pierce (@qwrrty) January 9, 2020
I have to always remind him to feed the children when I’m not there. He will still forget. Every time. They’re foraging through the cabinets like a bunch of rabid animals until he either remembers some time in the late afternoon/early evening or I come home.
— Shaheen Pasha (@profpasha) January 9, 2020
“what do you want for dinner tonight”
“i dont know you pick”
“no you pick… why do i always have to pick”
“because you’re the picky one”
— TJ H (@TheTJHelm) January 9, 2020
….so do i
— rabia O’chaudry (@rabiasquared) January 9, 2020
He is always in his most talkative mood when I am on deadline. Ask me how many times I’ve snapped “im on deadline” in 20 yrs.
— Aisha Sultan (@AishaS) January 10, 2020
He won’t use the last of anything because he thinks I’ll be mad that he used all of it. No! Use it, let me know you finished it and get more! There’s nothing worse than 5 chips in a bag, a shot glass of Oj or teaspoon of hummus. Yes, I have pictures. #petty pic.twitter.com/O0JB6AAfwT
— I can’t feel my face when I drink booze (@ItsMeYorkie) January 9, 2020