Lindsay
Everyone has at least one dealbreaker when it comes to relationships. And if you do not, you are lying.
Male-identifying Redditors recently shared some key dealbreakers for them, thanks to a post in the r/AskReddit subreddit. User JaJaLoHa posted:
“Men, what are some dealbreakers for a potential relationship, even if they’re very attractive?”
Well, the men did not hold back, with the post receiving 16.6K comments. And, you know what? The answers aren’t necessarily gendered, with the deal breakers representing major relationship issues, regardless of genders involved.
It turns out men regardless of sexual orientation want support, respect, and healthy communication in their relationships — just like everyone else in this world. What a god dang, not-so-mysterious concept.
Below are 20 examples of deal breakers that male Redditors shared in the comment thread.
1. Big fights
If you can’t have a civilized argument with them. If small differences at the start of the relationship already turn into screaming, shouting, insulting etc. just think about how those important discussions later in the relationship will go…
2. Sh*t-talking
Seeing how they speak to other people, especially when they aren’t around, if they sh*t talk their friends when they aren’t around why would you think they wouldn’t do that to you as well.
3. Unable to apologize
Not being able to apologize. Everybody makes mistakes, doesn’t matter. Own up to it and I respect you even more. Seek excuses? Bye!
4. No respect for boundaries
Lack of respect for my boundaries. I learned this lesson the hard way once, I’ve got no intention of letting it happen again.
“Tests” and indirect behavior. If you want something tell me. I’m not playing a game just to see if I’m “worth” your attention.
You don’t treat the things I care about or respect seriously. It shows me you won’t even put in the effort to act like you care.
The idea of “I don’t have to bring anything to the table and you have to bring everything”. If you’re a deadbeat leech I’m not interested in wasting my time on you.
If they breathe their politics too loudly. I’m fully open to someone who doesn’t perfectly align to my idea of a worldview but if they’re super loud about it that looks incredibly cringy and tactless. I don’t care if it’s for something I agree with or not. There’s more to life than mindless tribalism.
5. Always complaining
Complaining about everything
6. Can’t take a joke
If they’re full of themselves, can’t have someone who can’t joke and make fun of themselves and bases life on how many likes they get on social media
7. Untrustworthy
Lying, saying stuff about you behind your back, being mean to people for no reason, being fake
8. Clingy
Doesn’t let you have time to yourself/ their entire life revolves around you to the point that they suffocate you
9. Stuck on exes
Talking about exes too much to the line of comparing you two. Big no no for me.
10. Smells bad
Met this girl in college, nice personality, smoking hot body, invited her over to my dorm for some Netflix n’ Chill and quickly noticed she had a…how to put it delicately…a severe BO problem, I’m talking rank and when she took her shoes off it was worse than some of the guys I use to play basketball with. Ok, not a deal breaker, maybe she just had a long day and hadn’t had a chance to take a shower, happens to all of us. So we got together a few more times and if anything it got worse, so I tried dropping some subtle hints. She finally told me she was into something called “natural hygiene” and didn’t bath more than once every couple weeks or ever use deodorant, soap or shampoo. Nope….my dick was screaming yes, but my nose vetoed it, I was out….
11. No effort
Zero effort put into simple maintenance actions. Simply picking up after yourself is deferred repeatedly when it can be done and over in ten seconds.
Inflexible mind, or unwilling to learn new things or see other perspectives.
Seeing the fault in others, but inability to perceive such in themselves.
12. Incompatible sense of humor
No sense of humor
Edit: Either a lack of sense of humor or incompatible sense of humor. I want to be able to laugh at the same stuff together.
13. Bad with money
If they are terrible with finances.
14. Bad attitude
Handles problems badly. Meaning, will become very demanding or sullen.
Need someone who is calm in stressful situations, life is full of huge problems that will need two to deal with properly.
15. Toxic
Toxic behavior overall. Trying to pressure me into something I don’t want to do. And I hold honesty to a pretty high regard so any form of manipulation or toxic passive aggressiveness is over the line for me.
16. Weird flex
I dated this chick, we’ll say “the one that got away.” Everything clicked on every level, but during quiet moments, like bed or driving, she HATED silent moments and would screech like a dinosaur incredibly loud. It always caught me off guard and drove me absolutely nuts.
17. Gossipping
I avoid gossips.
That overly judgmental, complaining attitude they have towards other people is what you will eventually get when you’ve been with them for a while. It’s just what they are.
18. Cheating
I’m keeping it simple, infidelity.
19. No accountability
No accountability. In fact, having absolutely no sense of accountability for their actions. Believe me it is more common than you think.
20. Arrogance
When confidence goes too far and turns into arrogance, it’s an issue for sure.
You can view the entire post here.
Lead image: Flickr
