The thing nobody tells you about sex is that it isn’t very sexy. Yeah, it’s hot but it’s also awkward, sometimes embarrassing, gross depending on the situation, and it can be very funny. Like, who hasn’t let a lil fart slip or been on the receiving end of that lil fart?
Well, Reddit user rhino1003 wanted to hear from the internet on the topic and posted “Men, what is the funniest thing to happen to you while having sex?” in the r/AskMen subreddit.
He kicks off the thread with his story:
“I’ll share my story. At the time, my girlfriend and I were 69ing. Well she likes me using ice cubes so I grabbed one, laid down, and let her get on top. About a minute in, the ice cube melted just enough to where I somehow let it slip and went straight into my throat choking me out for a few seconds. I threw her off me and she fell on the floor all in a panic. Only a few seconds later I swallowed the whole thing and we were laughing with tears and called it a night.”
The post received nearly 4,000 comments and was 82 percent upvoted, with 27K upvotes. Below are some of the funniest stories.
1.
“I was trying to strip in a sexy way and tripped over my own clothes and the surprise of it all unclenched my bottom and released the fart I was holding in.” – opinionsmattress
2.
“I was going down on my girlfriend and my cat decided it was a good time to jump on the bed and just stand on my bare ass for a few seconds. Imagine feeling two little paws on each cheek and try not to laugh.” – CopsPushMongo
3.
“My s/o loves bringing this up at least once a week.
During foreplay, I straight passed out from a hella long day. We hadn’t seen each other in about 2 months as I work away from home on a vessel on the ocean. Takes me on average 3 flights to get home from 5 time zones away. Blah blah.
Anyways, I get home, we kiss, things heat up, she gets neked and sits on my lap, we kiss some more, do a lil touchy touchy… And then I pass out. Hahaha.
She loves making fun of me for it. She loves saying, you had a hot blonde on your lap and you were that bored of me.” – chiefboldface
4.
“I simply replied an obvious statement with another:
-Oh, there’s only one condom
-Well, there’s only one dick.
She laughed for 5 minutes straight.” – JR-90
5.
“My wife and I farted at the same time. We’d both been holding it in for a while. We laughed like crazy.” – kbean826
6.
“My only threesome to date: cat licking my leg during sex.
I had to stop because I was laughing so much.” – aseelt
7.
“I was my girlfriend’s first for a lot of stuff. We were getting intimate one night and she’d never touched a guy’s tools so she ended up reaching down my pants and grabbing my balls and asked if it was my penis.
It hurt…and I grunted out a strained “no” and she let go. That was 5 years ago and I still reference it.” – Guerrin_TR
8.
“My ex-girlfriend’s dog kept jumping on the bed to try and go to sleep while we were going at it. Didn’t matter how many times I set her down on the floor, she’d just keep getting up there, and lying down. The bedroom also didn’t have a door since we lived alone it didn’t matter. So I decided that if she wasn’t going away, then I’d just anchor my foot under her back to get better traction. The poor dog was so tired she didn’t care.” – Kenpo23
9.
“First time me and my girlfriend tried anal, she farted as I was going in.
The feeling was… weird. We had to stop because she laughed which ended up making me laugh and my little rocket went soft” – czar_ec
10.
“We were fkn in the shower, the puppy snuck in and licked my balls.
I thought she had 3 hands for a second” – BeneathTheSassafras