I think there’s a common fear that as relationships, and we, age, sex disappears. Or, if not entirely vanishes, it at least is diminished in its frequency. It’s a valid concern and definitely one I’ve quietly panic-googled in the middle of the night.
Redditor u/jakandry recently asked Reddit:
“Men in your thirties who are in relationships/marriages, how often do you have sex?”
And the responses were quick and numerous. Here are some of the top replies.
1. 2-3 times a week
About to hit 5 years married, 8 years together. Have a 6 month old. Prior to baby I’d say 2-3 times a week and we were both ok with that. First 3 months of baby, very little. Pelvic floor is super tight (vibrator was massive help in relieving this/getting back to vaginal sex). Breastfeeding impacts hormones which impacts arousal/getting wet so as others have mentioned, lubes and toys will be a huge help. After about 4 months and a baby that is amazing at sleep, we are back to our normal.
2. Tough with kids
It gets tough with three kids, but usually 5-10 times per month. Typically we’ll get into a groove and hit a few days in a row streak.
3. Go to bed earlier
4-5 times weekly. My advice. Head to the bedroom early. Stop vegging on the couch.
4. Zzzz.
Maybe once a month now. We’re just always so tired
5. Depends
Every weekend or every other weekend. Just depends
6. Think she’s cheating
Once every three months if that. She’s talking to some guy on fb but won’t admit it. At this point I’m just a roommate that pays the bill..asked her to leave..she wont.
7. Life happens
Married 2 years, life happens so it’s not super often but 2-3x a week and 1-2x a month we do something a little extra.
No kids if that matters.
8. Maybe twice a week
Been married 6 years and it probably averages out to about twice a week. Sometimes more sometimes less.
9. Most of the time
46 me and wife been together almost 30yrs. 5 kids. We average once a week. Most of the time.
10. Pregnancy
Both 29, 2 year old and currently pregnant. Every single day and every time the toddler takes a nap. Pregnant wife is horny wife. Before pregnancy she had a lower sex drive for a while but I learned that when I wanted to all it took was some flirting and sexy talk during the day. In the moment 5 minutes before after a long day never works, leading up to it from morning and planting the seed getting her thinking about it puts her in the mood. If you have a low libido partner it just takes some work and different approaches
11. Rarely
We have sex like 5 or so times a year. Wife works long hours. 2 dogs a cat a house a kid. We probably should make more of a point to do it but we don’t.
12. No drive
Been married for 12 years About 3 years ago she completely lost her sex drive She’s told me it might be a hormone imbalance and with me being the only bread winner and living paycheck to paycheck we haven’t had the luxury of health insurance to analyze this I’ve been rejected so much I’ve stopped trying and become numb to the marriage now The only reason I haven’t proceeded with divorce is because she has no one to turn to when the divorce is finalized and with my work schedule I can’t take care of the kids
13. Damn kid
2.5 year old at home here.
Wife’s sex drive became non existent the moment our kid came out. We have sex maybe once or twice a month. She wants to have a drive but just.. Doesn’t. Sucks.
14. Seems like a lot!
I’m a little over 40 and my wife and I go at it about 2-4 times a week. 2 kids and 15 years together.
15. Other stuff
It’s usually a 2:1 ratio of blowjobs to sex and one of those happens once a week. My wife and I have two kids and she insists on the blowjobs because, quoting her, “it feels good making you feel good and sometimes I just don’t want sex.”
16. Two weeks
Once a fortnight 🙁
17. WFH FTW
Since work from home started, sex never stops. Sleep? No. eat? OK, maybe a sandwich while doing it.
18. Nope. None.
I’ll let you know when my wife’s done healing after pushing out our first.
19. Not interested
Healthy would be 2 times a week for me, but it’s been like twice a month for a couple of years. She’s not cheating on me, maybe just not interested anymore. I used to try every night, but it’s hard to get motivated when you don’t feel desired. So I just wait til she wants it. One or two times a month.
20. Vs A Lot!
31yo married with 6yo and 4yo sons. My wife and I have sex about every other day.