Lindsay
If the response to this Reddit thread is any indication, it is apparently OK to call the police on a loved one. (Only sometimes, though!!)
The thread is just one of many post-New Year’s Eve fiascos that made their way on the platform over the weekend because 2022 was unlike any other. With a new COVID variant coursing through our country, we all said “F it” and channeled whatever Andy Cohen was channeling.
All that is to say: we humans are in a very fragile state, so do not mess with our stuff.
A man recently learned that lesson when he took his partner’s car without her consent. The partner — using a throwaway account — posted the story in Reddit’s “Am I the Asshole?” subreddit.
My fiance (28M) and I (30F) have been together for 3 years, I used to live close to work and used public transportation but after I moved in to his house which is hours away from work I bought myself a car since I’m a nurse and also since there isn’t any hospitals close to where we live that I could transfer to.
My fiance’s car hasn’t been working for close to 2 months now, It requires so much money to get it fixed and he refused my fiancial help when I offered it.
Instead, he would ask to use my car every now and then and I agreed as long as it’s when I’m not working and also, since he only uses it for trips to the supermarket etc.
Sounds like a fair agreement. And if he wants to use his own money to pay for repairs, that’s also fair. Except. Things go from fair to non-consensual.
On New Year’s Eve, he told me he wanted to use my car to go hang out with his friends and celebrate but I declined because I had to cover a night shift and needed my car to travel to work. He insisted and even suggested I take the night off or swap shifts with another nurse but I couldn’t do that last minute.
I thought he dropped it then but when I went into the shower and got out I couldn’t find him nor my car, I freaked out and started calling for half an hour but he didn’t answer me, I tried again ’til one of his friends picked up, I demanded he give the phone to my fiance but he said they were out and confirmed that he took my car and told me that my fiance said that it’s better that I skip my shift and he’ll be back with my car later. I couldn’t take it I felt so enraged I had my fiance on the phone telling him I did not consent for him to take my car to go hang out with friends and said I’d call the police to get it back if he refused to come back with it, but he didn’t take me seriously so I ended up calling the police and he and his friends were picked up at the bar where they were hanging out, then were taken to the police department.
Relationship 101: You don’t interfere with your partner’s career.
However, this guy thinks he didn’t deserve what he got. Even though he — by definition — stole a car. “What’s mine is yours” doesn’t work in a scenario where a car title is involved, buddy. ‘
I got my car from there and still went to my shift, my fiance was let go hours after I left and he blew up my phone with missed calls and texts about how I was out of my mind to call the police on him and put him in this situation. I did not respond but when I got off work the next day we got into an argument and he said he couldn’t believe I’d do this to him but I told him he made me do this to which he responded that I was petty and callous because not only did I ruin his New Year’s celebration, but all his friends aren’t speaking to him after I put them in this situation as well and he then kept giving me silence about it.
I did consider this a form of theft especially since he went behind my back after getting a “NO” from me, but he was shocked that I’d even imply that he was a thief and said what’s yours is mine and vice versa so I shouldn’t be using the terms “theft and stealing”.
Within a day, OP received 25.1K upvotes, 3.5K comments and the post was 97 percent upvoted overall.
Users heavily supported OP’s decision in calling the police on her partner.
NTA. Your job is literally life and death and he thought it was okay to steal your car because he just wanted to go party? And is he a child that he’d sneak out while you’re in the shower? Also, not that you had to, but you warned him that you were going to call the cops. It’s on him that he continued to be a dick. At the very least you’ve set a clear boundary here. Idk what you’re getting out of this relationship, but is it worth driving hours to work so that you can live with an immature AH?
Also, I think your BF’s friends know he’s TA and he’s trying to push it off on you.
All his friends aren’t speaking to him after I put them in this situation
I feel like friends don’t stop speaking to you if they think you were in the rig
One person even mentioned how his friends are also at fault for not stepping in.
NTA. Girl why are you with a man who cannot take care of his own basic needs and insists that you call off work so he can go party? He is using you and you can do way better. Do not offer financial help to people like this either. He has money to go out with his friends then he has money for a car.
ETA his friends put themselves in to this situation by getting in to a stolen car. Do you really think they weren’t all sitting around laughing at you before this happened?
Many users pointed out how cruel and immature it was for him to expect her to take work off so he can party without her.
He wanted her to call off work last minute so she could sit at home on NYE while he partied with his friends. He didn’t even try to include her!
Others pointed out that this is a serious red flag that could lead to much more dangerous behavior from him.
This is how abuse starts. He alienates you from your environment, makes you depended on him, makes you question your own sanity by guilting for actions you make. Each step mentioned above is a tactic to make you more submissive to his needs.
It doesn’t matter if he does it maliciously or not, you will end up in the same abuse cycle
Relationship is based on mutual respect, help and understanding. If being together makes your life harder – what’s the point of the relationship?
Many people also pointed out how OP is a nurse for a living and we are literally going into year three of a deadly pandemic.
We’re in the middle of a pandemic and dude thinks going to a party is more important than a health care worker making their shift.
-10/10 priorities.
Not only that, but this is the worst the pandemic has been since its inception. This guy better be ready to apologize to his partner and handle the entire internet’s wrath.
You can read the entire post here.
