17 Women Reveal The Most Obnoxious Excuses Dudes Gave To Avoid Wearing Condoms

When you’re dating, there’s nothing more obnoxious than a man who refuses to use a condom. Not only does it place all the responsibility on the woman for birth control, but it also causes stress about STIs.

But men have tons of excuses for putting their partner at risk for unwanted pregnancy or infection. Sometimes they lie, sometimes they complain, sometimes they flat out remove the condom without the woman’s knowledge — which can be considered sexual assault.

On Reddit, women are sharing the super annoying things men have told them after being asked to wear a condom — and honestly? Guys, just wrap it up.

1. “It’s Not Necessary”

“‘It’s not necessary I’ve been tested and I’m all negative.’ Bro there is no way for me to verify that at 2 am.” — cursedcutie

2. “I Can’t Have Kids”

“A few years ago a friend was dating a guy and his excuse was that he found out he couldn’t have kids. Anyway, her kid started kindergarten a few days ago.” — skol_troll

3. “I Wear Tighty Whities”

“I have a friend who got pregnant at 18 by a guy who said, ‘I wear tighty whities, it makes you infertile.’ And she believed him. And they became parents.” — LeskoLesko

4. “Nerve Damage”

“He told me he’d sustained nerve damage from being shot at/car bombed while working for a notorious private security company in the Middle East and that condoms took away what little sensation he had left. Shockingly untrue, he wasn’t ex military either (he claimed Afghanistan) and turns out he’s known to be a massive wannabe dingdong. He also claimed to practice ‘Viking religions.'” — todaysmurder

5. Snuck It Off

“One time: guy put on condom like asked and all was well until the end when he pulled out and lo and behold, no condom. Swears it must have just come off. Shit happens so, try to find it to take it out. Can’t find it. Begin to panic. Take a break and go get morning after pill. Make appointment for screening. Still can’t find it.

Talk to my dr about coming in to find the damn thing. Super embarrassing. Go. She can’t find it. Says it’s definitely not in there. So okay at least there’s that. Do my screen. Send the results. Come home.

Damn thing is on the floor like across the room. He took it off. Lied about it getting lost and chucked it across the room. Sometimes people just suck.” — Milinkalap

6. Was Embarrassed To Buy Them

“Not a girl but I knew a guy who refuses to use a condom because he felt embarrassed buying condoms. If you’re embarrassed of buying a condom you aren’t ready for sex.” — illogicalfuturity

7. It Doesn’t Feel As Good

“It’s like taking a shower with a raincoat on.” — Perfect_Cookie

8. “It Won’t Fit”

“‘It won’t fit’ I have many different sizes. ‘I’m allergic to latex’ great I have durex. ‘I wouldn’t mind making a baby with you.’ The worst was a boyfriend I actually trusted. He said don’t worry I won’t cum. We were f*cking and it felt like he was getting close. I asked him and he said he was fine. 30 seconds later and I’m getting filled.” — maid-for-hire

9. Pulling Out

“You don’t trust me to pull out??” — juliefryy

10. “It Suffocates Me”

“I once had a guy insist on using one, I was like yes man! And this guy straight up PRETENDED to put it on then try go for it like I couldn’t see? I got my stuff and left. The usuals are ‘it suffocates me’ ‘I can’t feel anything’ ‘it irritates me’ ‘I’m clean’ etc.” — ReverandJade

11. “My Grandma Is Catholic”

“Not me, but a coworker. Dude has 5 kids with 4 different women, and is still looking for other women to sleep with. I asked him if he knew what condoms were, and he said that his grandma was hardcore Catholic and it would bother her that he was using a contraceptive, to which I asked him if he was religious.

He vehemently denied it saying he hates religion to which I asked him again why he can’t use them. Again he replies about his grandma so I’m like, ‘bro is granny in the room with you when you do the deed? She won’t know unless you’re telling her!’ He didn’t like that lol.” — Magalb

12. Trust

“‘The fact you don’t trust me is kind of a turn off.’ Okay, bye.” — nigel_bongberry

13. Satisfaction

“Worst excuse ever: Heard a friend saying once, using a condom can never satisfy a partner.” — Hunter0955

14. “This Isn’t A Whorehouse”

“‘I’ve had a vasectomy,’ and ‘this isn’t a whorehouse.’ Two different men. I sure knew how to pick ‘em when I was young and dumb!” — ScaredySnez

15. “I’ll Just Pull Out”

“Went out on a date with a guy and we went back to his place. He didn’t have condoms and said he would just pull out. I don’t trust that method enough to risk it so I just didn’t sleep with him. He was really pissed about it though. I called a taxi and I said to him, ‘I’ll check if its outside’ he said ‘if you close the door on the way out I won’t be getting up to let you back in so make sure it’s there.’ Yeah he was a real jerk. Didn’t see him again that’s for sure. He wrote to me a couple of weeks after when I updated my profile pic to me wearing a nice dress. I didn’t respond though.” — Little_Hobbitt

16. Marriage

“Girl, we’ve been married for over 10 years…” — ee24k

17. “Feel The Connection”

“Not a woman but I remember a coworker saying he once told a girl that: ‘How could I fall in love with you one day if I can’t truly FEEL who you are and FEEL our connection in the bedroom?’ It felt like the most toxic, manipulative sh*t ever…” — holdinginafart

Featured Image: Unsplash

Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.