One of Twitter’s most juiciest accounts is @redditships, an account that pulls only the best of the best posts from the r/relationships subreddit. It’s truly a gift to us all.
The latest post is about a 37-year-old man whose police-officer wife confessed to cheating on him.
Not only cheating, but doing so while she was working undercover.
Yeah, there’s a lot to unpack in this situation.
The author, who used a throwaway account, described how he has been with his wife for 12 years and she was in her career when the two met. As their relationship progressed, she went into undercover work, which led to longer-term work. One trip lasted a little more than a month, but that length of time wasn’t common.
Recently. though, OP’s wife said she had to confess something.
“Recently she told me she needed to confess something, she told me that during the course of her work she had sex with a man three times, once it was just oral and the other two times they had penetrative sex too, they did not use condoms but she insists she took measures to ensure she wasn’t pregnant and had herself tested long before her and I did anything. She says it was necessary every time and it was necessary to maintain her cover.”
Necessary every time?? Necessary to maintain her cover?? WITHOUT PROTECTION???
What kind of job did she do!?!?
“I wasn’t and am still not really sure how to process this. She insists it was necessary as part of her work and I understand that and I do believe her, she’s never been unfaithful before. That being said I’m still very uncomfortable, I asked her if she had feelings or attraction or anything like that, she said she found him attractive but insists she didn’t have any real feelings for him and it was all just work.”
“We haven’t discussed this too much since, she brought it up again a few nights ago but I asked her to give me more time. Currently I am leaning towards a divorce, I feel awful as I love her, I know she loves me and we have a good marriage but I don’t think this is something I can get past. Am I wrong for doing this? Is there something else we could try? I considered suggesting counselling but I know myself, I really don’t think I can let this go, it’s too much.”
Totally with you there, OP. This is a lot for any person to wrap their brain around.
After the post gained traction, OP came back with an edit that expands on the situation:
“Edit: Few extra things to point out. She by her own words wasn’t in danger, just her job was. She claims not to have enjoyed giving oral sex and she said the first time she actually had sex with him she was too nervous to really feel much but she did let it slip that she enjoyed the third and final encounter enough to orgasm, though she said it was due to stimulation and nothing else. That feels like a major betrayal to me and it’s why I’m so uncomfortable with the acts.”
Yikes. Everything about this keeps getting worse. Let’s see how this post is doing with Twitter users.
One Twitter user highlighted a cluster of comments by Redditors and OP, pointing out the content does hit on consent and sexual assault for those who need a content warning before diving in.
Understandably, OP thinks the betrayal and years-long lies are beyond what any relationship counselor can help with. He also shares his wife admitted that there was pleasure on her part during one of the encounters. Again, understandably, OP believes this is something he can’t forgive.
Twitter user Jen shared more screenshots of the conversation and pointed out that Reddit may not be the best place to unpack this sort of situation. Agree!
Luckily, OP understands Reddit dynamics: “I get that Reddit likes to jump to worst case but the worst stuff is what I wrote here.”
That is true.
However, there are more delicate ways to say “She crossed the line and you have to protect your happiness and your health.”
One user asked if it’s more difficult due to the amount of time that has passed and OP says the time absolutely has something to do with the situation.
We hope OP finds peace and happiness, because this is truly awful.