20 People Reveal The ‘Relationship Ruiners’ That Aren’t Cheating

When it comes to something that ruins a relationship, cheating is often top of mind. The act is a huge betrayal of trust, which is something solid relationships are built on.

However, there are other ways to betray trust or just generally dissolve a relationship, as we are now finding out through this Reddit thread.

Two days ago, user applesssss1 wanted to know what things other than cheating kills a relationship. And there are lots of things! Enough for the post to garner 4,000 comments and a 96 percent upvote. So, yeah, we think people have some experience in this department.

Below are 20 relationship killers that are not cheating.

1. Communicate

bad / no communication.


2. Don’t lie



3. Don’t let resentment build



4. Recognize contempt

Contempt is simply poison in any relationship. It’s usually a sign the relationship is over or quickly heading to its end.


5. Be mindful of finances

Financial stress


6. Build trust and keep it

Lack of trust


7. Friendship is important in relationships

Lack of respect and friendship


8. Treat your person with kindness

Constantly belittling the person


9. Be consistent

Here’s something I haven’t seen that just killed mine:

Lack of consistency.

If your partner is too unreliable or unpredictable to react in the same or a similar way to things, then you will experience a mentally and emotionally draining relationship that will make you feel like you’re losing yourself and going insane


10. Walking on eggshells is not ideal

Eggshells. I dont miss that shit.


11. Spontaneity in small doses

spontaneous is great – but coming home after working 48h a week and finding your partner is gone with a note “heyyy I left for a 15 day training camp for Quidditch in Norway, see ya!” was too spontaneous for me. Like, as a working adult, you only have 30 days of holiday per year; and he wanted to be at his parents every major holiday. You should consult your partner on what they would like to do, at least have a discussion about it


12. Think of your partner



13. Love is a verb



14. No tolerance for abuse

Abuse, physical or emotional.


15. Emotional support is necessary

Not being there for them emotionally


16. Let your person LIVE

Being controlling


17. People grow, and that’s OK

Growing up/growing apart. A few of my friends had what I lovingly call “starter marriages” in their late teens/early 20’s – they thought they were so grown up and taking the next step in life by getting married. The reality was they still had a lot of growing up to do and were basically playing house. As they continued to grow and mature, they often realized they were different people with different life goals.

The lucky ones got out of the marriage before kids and too many assets were involved and moved on quickly. The unlucky ones realized it post kids and house and now have to deal with their ex-spouse for the rest of their lives.

Single Redditors, choose who you marry carefully. It’s one of your biggest life decisions with the most long-lasting repercussions.


18. Equality always

Unfair house chore distribution. According to my buddy’s therapist, this is the number one reason for couples to split up seen in their practice. And it makes sense, who wants to feel constantly exploited in a relationship.


19. Never lose your gratitude

Taking a partner for granted


20. Keep that effort going

Lack of effort- keep dating your wife/husband


You can view the entire post here.

Lead image: Flickr