This post is not to get down on pornography, which can be a very fun thing to enjoy when it is ethically produced and we can all use some sort of release given the state of the world right now.
Yay for porn. But for a lot of people who have not had much real-life sexual experience, porn becomes a bit of a teacher.
That’s unfortunate because what we enjoy watching for visual stimulation does not translate perfectly to physical stimulation.
It’s hard to say who is the victim of porn sex lessons: the people who don’t learn better, or the people who end up having sex with them.
Redditor ProbablyRagiing asked the r/AskReddit community, “Girls of Reddit, what’s something guys see done in porn that you wish they would stop trying to do in real life?” The answers were pretty much, “Ummm, all of it?”
In general, porn is about putting on a show. The people making them are athletes with choreographers, directors, breaks, and a warm-up before the camera rolls.
Having actual intimate and satisfying sex isn’t a show and it requires foreplay, gentleness, and communication.
And no more finger banging, please, for the love of orgasms.
Learn a little something you won’t see on Brazzers today:
1. Getting right to it.
Lack of foreplay —shadowwatchers
2. The noises.
Don’t expect porn noises. Some girls are loud, some aren’t. if all sexual interactions sounded like porn then it would be much worse living next to your elderly neighbours. —Specialist_Celery
3. Those are sensitive.
Don’t grab the titty so f—king hard bro! —ResponsibleHippy
4. No switching holes
If you’re doing a*al, that’s the last destination, sir. —dee_westie
5. Gentle with that thing pls.
rubbing the cl*t like a f*cking stain on a shirt. circular motions please. —itsrosey
6. You’re not a construction worker.
Stop jackhammering into us right off the bat, warm up to it and get us WET. No, spitting on the p*ssy doesn’t count. —LadyEpona
7. Slowwww dowwwn
Going fast does not mean its good —princessdumbhoe
8. I’m the one grabbing “head” here.
Don’t grab my head and push me onto your c*ck during a BJ, if I’m giving head I need to be in control of it enough that I can moderate my gag reflex. If you like gagging…tell me and I’ll gag enough to make it hot but not enough to vomit. If you are into vomit, we need to talk about limits because that’s a hard limit for me. Don’t just force my head down and set the pace without discussing it first. I’ll never come near you again. —pebblebrain
9. Any kinda jackhammering.
Just like…jackhammering. That applies to both intercourse and fingering —fashionablypunctual
10. Keep up the good work.
Going faster when you tell them something feels good/you’re gonna c*m. Protip: don’t change a goddamn thing. Keep up the same pace. —MyMumSaidICantGo
Slapping the cl*t with fingers or d*cks has never been and never will be pleasurable. At least not to me. I f*cking hate it so much. And if a dude does that to me I automatically think (know) he has no idea how to please a woman and he’s only ever watched porn and never gotten a woman off. —pancake-pretty
This is a strange one, but in a lot of porn, the dude just pounds away standing up so that we can see everything going on with the woman- like boobies and all that. It’s all good for cinematics or whatever but please… hold me during sex. Let me nuzzle my face into your neck and hug you and leave little marks on your shoulder. It’s so much more intimate and makes me feels safe. Not sure about other women but that’s the thing I value the most with my boyfriend. —TheBedfordReader
Butt stuff without asking
Shoving your head down without asking
Slapping you in the face with your d*ck when you’re down there
Being super rough
Jumping right into penetration
Ignoring foreplay —saelcaha
It’s a great conversation to have, because porn is so fake and rarely catered to female pleasure. Fingering is usually way off. Also, bjs seem to have gotten more ‘violent’ (choking, gagging etc) as opposed to something the girls is as into, and enjoys as much as, the guy. —NameIsBongMissBong
Fingering, there is a right way to do it, and it’s NOT like in porn —SeeYou_space_cowgirl
STOP being silent! Please moan, that sh*ts hot as hell —quirkyorcdork
Thinking that we orgasm from 2 minutes of penetration alone —xandrenia
Slapping the vagina like a used car salesman trying to sell a 1999 corolla —ihatethaifood
Saying how you’re going to “destroy, pop that cherry, make walking hard for days, make you sore.” Don’t offer to chafe my flesh, man. There’s not going to be a boxing match against my vagina, so stop trying to intimidate your opponent. —Upvotespoodles
It’s not necessarily the content, but the technique. I’ve had to teach every. single. partner. Appropriate fingering technique. Thankfully most of them were receptive and quick learners.
Any men who are lurking here: LISTEN to your partners and communicate with them. If a girl is trying to show you the best way to finger her, don’t be discouraged and give up because you got it wrong the first time- try! You’ll both be better off for it. —scrimshandy
Spanking!!! Every dude I have ever hooked up with does it on my upper thighs instead of my asscheeks. There’s. A. Method. You gotta cup as you’re going in for the smack my dudes. And for bonus points, gently rubbing the area after you smack it helps. Good Lord. I’m not trying to not be able to sit for weeks. —myxgreasyxflannel
Flicking your nipples or slapping your tits is not a turn on. It hurts. —ShyMaddie7
Also, not really something guys “do” per se, but the whole male obsession with HUGE MONSTER DONGS is so damaging to a lot of men’s self-esteem and intimate relationships and it’s for absolutely no good reason. There are very few, and I mean honestly very few, people in this world who would meet a fat ten inch c*ck irl and think “my lucky day”. There are exceptions, and fantasies, bit in real life most people don’t want to be hurt during sex (and that includes gay men and the exaggerated size queen reputation the community has because of a minority). You know why the average p*nis size is ~6inches or less? Because the average (aroused) v*gina is roughly the same length. Combined with the two points above – pain, and most v*ginas needing extra stimulation anyway – I really, really want body shaming and self consciousness about d*cks to be recognised as the scam it is. —sawbonesromeo
spreading ur buttcheeks apart doing doggie or reverse cowgirl… do u want me to fart bro —gbxby
Move your body all different ways and painful angles. Grab your legs and try to make you do the splits, whack your legs over their shoulders, or just flip you over like a pancake… —cupkatekitty
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