Marriage, a union built on love, companionship, and shared responsibilities, is a journey filled with both joys and challenges. However, one of the most frustrating aspects that can emerge in a marital relationship is the feeling of shouldering an unequal burden of work.
It becomes increasingly disheartening when your partner fails to acknowledge the disparity and believes it to be fair. Over time, this dynamic can breed resentment, gradually eroding the foundation of the relationship and leading to the heartbreaking path of divorce.
This is the case with one woman’s (@thesoontobeexwife) experience, which she shared in a viral Tiktok.
“Good morning TikTok, I thought I’d share a small snippet of why I’m getting a divorce”
“So for the men out there who watch this, which frankly I kind of hope there aren’t any, you have an idea maybe what not to do. Yesterday, I go to work all day, go pick up one kid from school, go grocery shopping, go pick up the other kid from school, come home. Kids need a snack–make the snack. Kids want to play outside – we play outside.
Then he gets home from his run, which he chose to go on after a volunteer program he is doing after school. I told him not to do this program. I told him it was a bad choice and he was not going to be happy doing it. He did it. Whatever. So he gets home, he eats the entire carton of blueberries I just purchased for the children’s lunch and asks me what’s for dinner. I tell him I don’t know because the kids had a late snack and they’re not hungry yet.”
“He says ‘great,’ as sarcastically as possible”
“Mind you, the last time he cooked – he rarely cooks and if he does cook I have to tell him how and what – the last time he cooked he got so angry he started stomping around like a toddler. Then when he realized he’d forgotten an ingredient he was about to punch a hole in the wall. Our previous homes were all littered with holes in the walls that he had punched, including one extremely large hole that was left from him throwing a milk carton, a two gallon milk carton, through the wall.
Anyway, finally one kid is hungry. So I offered to make pancakes because they’re quick and easy and it’s late. He sees the pancake batter and sees that there’s wheat flour in it and starts complaining. Says he won’t eat them. Now I am a grown adult making pancakes for my children who I am trying to feed nutritionally balanced meals. So yes, there’s wheat flour in the pancake mix.”
“Then he starts complaining and saying he’s not going to do dishes because he’s not gonna eat the pancakes”
“So he doesn’t have to do dishes if he doesn’t eat. Friends, the only thing this man does around this house is dishes occasionally. If I cook, he usually does dishes. I cook most nights. But here’s the thing. That’s all he does. I do everything else. Everything. Everything.”
“I cook, I clean the bathrooms, I make the lunches, I make the breakfasts, I mow the lawn, I do kids’ bedtime. I literally do everything and he does dishes once a day, maybe.”
“Anyway, it turns into this fun thing where he’s arguing with me and he tells my children that I am the villain of the story, which is like, awesome that you’re involving the children in our divorce. Good job. Good job, buddy.”
“This morning, he calls me up and says that it was out of control last night and that we should do this event for the kids separately this weekend”
“And I’m like, fine. He’s like, ‘okay, what time is it?’ ‘Well, you can look it up. I’m not sure.’ To which there’s a long sarcastic pause, like I can hear the intake of sarcastic breath. And then he just says, ‘f**k off’ and hangs up. So that is my life. And this is actually better than before I decided to divorce him. He treats me better now.”
See the Tiktok here:
Y’all I laughed when I realized he truly does treat me better now then when he was trying to be in a marriage with me. How is this better?? How did I ever think before was ok?? #toxicrelationship #divorce #mentalloadofmotherhood #divorcetok #divorceisanoption #chooseyou #mentalhealth #mentalload #fyp #mentalload #emotionallabor
Here’s what folks in the comments had to say: