Kate Hackett
Breaking up suuuuucks, especially when it’s over something seemingly inane. Or something just beyond all comprehension. We bring you a list today from Reddit’s AskWomen sub in which women respond to u/NonSocialButterfly10‘s question: “What’s the dumbest reason you’ve been broken up with?”
1. Dating
He wanted to date his “girl best friend” because her boyfriend broke up with her and she was suicidal
2. In the name of the father–
Lent. I was given up for Lent.
3. No friends for you
I went to dinner with my friends.
4. That’s not me
Apparently after we had had a great 5 year relationship he realized that his ideal woman had brunette hair and big boobs. She would also drink beer and play baseball. None of those attributes describes me — it took him five years to recognize this!
5. Weird vaca, bro
He went on a family holiday and got an arranged marriage
6. Bernice Bobs Her Hair
I had really long hair and I hd it cut, above the shoulder Bob style. Boom. Email breakup. I was 16
7. Signs of doom
Cause I started wearing thong underwear, apparently it meant I would soon cheat on him
8. Uhhh.
He said I deserved someone better than him. I wasn’t looking for better; I was perfectly content but whatever.
9. GameStop though
He wanted to meet up at a GameStop. There were two at the intersection we were meeting… I went to the wrong one, an entire five minute walk away, and even though we figured it out and met up, I got about a dozen texts about how I’d embarrassed, gaslit him, and wasted his time. We’d been dating 6ish months. 🤷♀️
10. Logic?
He cheated on me because my libido is too high.
11. Aim higher
My ex’s father told him he should “aim higher” and date women who looked like supermodels. He literally told me that was the reason for breaking up with me.
12. Consoled
I consoled a friend who was grieving his mother’s advancing Alzheimer’s (rubbed his back/arm as he confided in me). My ex said if I would do that in front of him, he couldn’t imagine all the ways I was embarrassing myself and degrading our relationship behind his back and that I was an untrustworthy, loose sl*t who seeks attention because my daddy didn’t love me.
13. Weed
Because he preferred living in his sister’s garage slinging weed over planning a real future.
14. Projecting
He started accusing me of cheating out of nowhere… projection 🤷🏻♀️ it took me a while to figure that out
15. Ewwww
Told the guy I was getting pretty serious with that he would be helping with childcare if we had kids.
He broke up with me, because he wanted a more “traditional” relationship. When I mean help? I mean, I was willing to do 90% of the childcare. And told him. But needed him to change an occasional diaper.
Too much.
16. Whoa.
He likes to break up with woman so they know how he felt when his first girlfriend broke up with him… just after he asked me to move in luckily my friends were happy for me to move back in
17. How awful!
I wasn’t ready to have sex in two weeks
18. What a jerk
I was “too nice to his parents” 😂
19. Peace, dude
I didn’t put him before my 9-year-old daughter. Clearly he did me a favor by dumping me!
20. We were dating?
I have a good one. This one time in college I was hanging out a casual friend’s house, doing nothing much but smoking weed and watching The Daily Show. My friend turns to me and says “BTW I told my folx we’re dating now, and they think you’re great and want you to come over for lasagna. I told them I wasn’t sure if we were ready for dinner with the parents yet so we don’t have to go.” I was shocked, tbh, because it was news to me that we were dating. Like literally nothing about our interactions were flirty or affectionate, or even frequent. So I mumbled something about “Uh yeah I don’t feel great about having dinner with your parents” and got out of there.
I then spent the next week trying to figure out what to do about it, not seeing the guy except in mutual classes. Finally I figured, wtf, I’m in college, I guess I could give it a shot and no big deal if it doesn’t go anywhere. So I tell my roommates that I’m dating the dude, and it’s super new but maybe he’ll be coming around to hang out. They teased me about it and I felt super uncomfortable, seeing as I didn’t exactly walk into that relationship with much in the way of enthusiasm. I headed out to my evening class.
On my way to the class my then accidental boyfriend came running up to me outside the building. I said hey and gave him an awkward hug. He looked really serious so I asked him if everything was OK. He said no, then we had a chat about how everything was moving way too fast, and he wasn’t ready for anything intense and serious since he and his fiancee had split up the year before. I mean I knew this dude so casually that I had no idea he’d ever had a fiancee. Anyway he broke up with me because we were moving to fast and it was too intense for him to handle. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such a rush of relief in my life.
Until I got home that night. I still had to explain to my roommates that I’d gotten dumped by a dude I hadn’t even realized I was dating. I still haven’t lived it down with them.
