Kate Hackett
Ugh, just from the title you know this article is going to be a doozy.
Let me stop right here and give a virtual hug to the poor woman who stumbled here because she’s googling “signs my partner doesn’t like me” at 3 in the morning in a small panic. I’m so sorry, Internet lady.
I hope you don’t see a single sign that reads familiar from the answers to u/Street_Salt_1973‘s question, “When did you realize your partner didn’t really care about you?”
1. Fell
Me, when I fell down the stairs at my boyfriend’s house and I was screaming in pain because I broke my ankle and he got mad at me because he had to drive me to the hospital he later told me he got angry because he wanted to play elden ring
2. Still on apps
When the “your match is about to expire” notification popped up while he was showing me tik toks.
3. Don’t tell me
He’s an ex-husband. When I begged him not to tell me what happened at the strip club because I knew I’d use the knowledge to torture myself, the first thing he did when he got home was brag about the lap dances he got and how hot those women were compared to me in an attempt to upset me because he wanted attention. It didn’t work and I ignored him, so he punched my chair. We had problems before that, but that night killed any respect I had left. Things deteriorated quickly afterwards.
On a bright note, my boyfriend now has never even raised his voice at me. At every opportunity he tries to make the choice that would make me feel the most safe, loved, and respected. If your current partner is showing that they don’t care about you, leave. There’s a better life out there for you. I’ve never felt more lucky than I do now.
4. Just cruel
When he accused me of being manipulative because I was crying. Why was I crying? Because I had literally just received the news that my closest friend had committed suicide.
5. Made me feel stupid
I confronted him and found out I was just a side piece. I cried for days, mostly because I couldn’t believe I was that stupid.
6. “Mouthy”
I was physically assaulted at work. When I told him about it I expected him to be horrified, protective, or at least not happy about it. Instead, he looked bored. He implied that I get a bit mouthy so maybe I pissed off the wrong guy. I got the ick so fast there was no turning back.
7. He wanted to get high
I fell and twisted my ankle one evening after he had dropped me off for my evening class. Someone riding a bike had to actually go after him to stop him from driving off completely and leaving me there. When he came back to me he was super annoyed and asked me what he was supposed to do about it. So I made him drive me to the urgent care. He then proceeded to make me take my heavy backpack inside with our 2 small children and left us there. He wanted to go get high on drugs. I couldn’t even walk and was so embarrassed and angry. I had to call my mom to come pick us up once I was done because he wouldn’t answer the phone. The entire time my ankle was sprained he never once offered to help do anything. This is one of the many reasons he’s my ex 🙃
8. Extra junk
When I explained that I’d been feeling depressed because playing music is my outlet and I’d been really missing it. I bought a keyboard for the extra bedroom which he didn’t notice for 2+ months. When he did notice he told me to get rid of it because he doesn’t want “extra junk” in his house. I only played with headphones and usually when he wasn’t home but he told me if the keyboard didn’t go, I had to. So I took the keyboard and left.
9. Why Life Sucks For Men
So many small things that I justified as differences in communication. The final realization was when I tried talking about my complicated relationship with my father and he started getting angry at me for not understanding what fathers go through and general explanation of why life sucks for men. Like bro. Are you gaslighting me about my own relationship with my dad?
The bulb just went on that he doesn’t care enough to understand my experiences. Broke up within the next 2 weeks.
10. No food
we were out in town and he wanted to grab some street food. i didn’t have money on me so i just… got nothing. he didn’t offer. i sat next to him watching him eat.
it was small, and yes i could’ve said something. but it was just one of many occasions that made me understand that he doesn’t care about me the way i care about him. after two damn years.
11. Checking out other women
When he checked out other girls while I’m sitting next to him. How you gonna say I love you when you fantasizing next to me
12. Stopped putting in effort
When i realized that i was always needing to adjust to his schedules and the relationship immediately fell apart when i stopped putting in the effort
13. Saying goodbye to Grandpa
I had to drive a couple hours to say goodbye to my dying grandpa in the hospital. On my way back home, I stopped at Chipotle for dinner. My then boyfriend’s first reaction when he saw me—rather than comforting me because I’d just visited my grandpa for the last time—was to get angry that I didn’t get him a burrito.
14. WILD
He cried to me about emotional issues sometimes and I always held him and talked him through it. Eventually I needed the same support but instead he got mad and started yelling, blaming me, and told me, “one of us has to be the strong one, I can’t have a partner who falls apart like this. I need someone strong.”
15. Babysitter with benefits
When my fiancé told me that I was just a convenient babysitter with benefits after I discovered her cheating. She went on and on about how she was so out of my league that I should have known, it was my fault for being so stupid. We had been together for three years, living together for two, and I realized that she never cared. I was just a roof over her head and took care of her kids while she went out to hook up with guys. She kept the ring, and from what I’ve been told she sold it.
16. Guilt tripped for sex
Id come down with a horrible flu. He convinced me to come over to his place “let me take care of you, you shouldn’t be suffering alone” I wanted to just stay in my own bed and ride it out but he kept at it and I thought he was just trying to be a caring boyfriend.
He just pestered me for sex the whole time and then guilt tripped me when I said I didn’t want to because I was feeling so rough “you mean sex with me would make you feel worse/wouldn’t make you feel happier…. Right, got it, THANKS”
I wish I’d dumped his ass right then but I was young and deep into a sunken cost fallacy.
17. WTH?
When he critiqued how I gave birth.
18. Just a garbage person
When I realized he doesn’t honor my boundaries, doesn’t provide emotional support, and after I told him I wasn’t happy in our relationship and was considering divorce and he told me he wanted to fix things he created a 2nd “anonymous” snapchat account…but he used his same phone number so snapchat told me one of my contacts had just joined. 🤦♀️
19. Physical abuse
when he beat the shit out of me twice for being pregnant, both ended with miscarriages. it sucks but for the better.
20. Wouldn’t get food
When he wouldn’t go get me food after I worked 12 hours and he had the whole day off and I hadn’t eaten yet that day. The place was like a 5 min drive away but he asked me to get it delivered instead. It took 2 hours for the food to get there. I cried because it was Super Bowl Sunday and we had all you can eat/drink packages so I ran around a lot and opened the restaurant that morning too. I was so tired. I broke up with him 2 days later.
