Nate Armbruster
Communication is key to a healthy relationship, and keeping secrets don’t make it any easier to maintain one. Life happens though, and unfortunately, some circumstances make it seem impossible to ever be completely honest with each other without ruining the relationship.
One Redditor decided to ask women to share secrets their spouse doesn’t know. Some responses were funny and wholesome, but others were pretty serious. Here’s how they responded:
1. Watched TV Shows Without Him
“I watched all of Stranger Things season 4 without him while he was at work.” —
2. Can’t Forgive
“That I will never forgive him for cheating on me no matter how hard I try. I think of leaving him everyday. Even though I love him, I absolutely resent him for putting me in such a f*cked up situation. He’s sucked out my self-esteem. I hate when he’s selfish even for the tiniest things. He’ll never be able to emotionally satisfy me ever again and he may as well just move on because I want to so bad. Even though I’m scared and it’s going to be hard. I feel like I’ll never get closure or healing if I stay. I’m scared to break up my kids’ home. What if I f*ck them up by leaving? I don’t want to be selfish. But, I’m honestly so miserable because I’ll never love or trust him the same and I’ll never forgive him. I’m extremely torn.” —
3. Live Separately
“Sometimes I want to live separately, right next to each other, but stay married, a la Frida Khalo and Diego Rivera. He has some hoarding tendencies and it really drives me crazy. Makes me want to cry. Yes we’ve talked about, no he doesn’t think it’s a problem. He’s very traditional about marriage and he’d never go for this idea. To him this would equate to asking for a divorce.” —
4. Better At Video Games
“I’m better at League of Legends than him. We’ve almost broken up over duo ranked games, he makes terrible dives & gets angry when no one follows him in. I’ve got a lower win ratio with him than I do playing by myself or with my friends.” —
5. Stop Complaining
“Sometimes I don’t want to hear about how sh*tty your friends are! Make better friends! Sorry!” —
6. Bad Sex
“That I feel like he flatlined my sex life and I don’t know how to fix it.” — mavisbeacon666
7. I’m So Tired
“I know you love me but I haven’t felt your love in a very long time. I’m tired of doing it all. Financially supporting our family. Being the forgiving one when it came to your job losses, boredom, habitual attitude and smoking, drinking, the opioids. I’m tired of it all. I want to be happy and that will never be with you. I love you with all my heart but I love me more.” —
8. I’m Trans
“That I would give almost anything to live as a woman, while we continue our life together. Unfortunately, I think it would cost our marriage, and that’s the one thing I won’t give up.” —
9. Dating Too Early
“Sometimes I have regretted getting with him so early (we were 17, now we’re 20) because when we found each other I was just beginning to discover/learning to navigate my sexual and romantic life after spending most of my teenage years tucked away in this idea of ‘the perfect person will just come for you one day.’ I like women significantly more than men, but I fell in love with him just when I was starting to let go. I got very few experiences with girls (which none ended well and were very brief). I don’t see myself breaking up with him any time soon, we love each other so much and our relationship is freaking great, but I mourn the experiences I wished to have that I never had. I wish I had seriously dated a girl even once, I wonder what it would feel like, how different it would be. I choose to love him every day, but sometimes I wish things had happened differently. Idk if that makes any sense.” —
10. Polyamory
“That I truly love him, but I think I might be poly and I also love someone else. And I love them both different and equally, but there’s parts of me that neither one can fulfill independently.” —
11. His Job Is Killing Me
“That his job is killing me. He knows I hate it, but not to the degree. He is bound by law to continue in his job for the next ten years. He’s my best friend and I refuse to leave him over this job. But it hurts so bad, it makes me feel sick. Then if he did find a way to leave…I would feel like I’m not allowed to be depressed anymore because I will have gotten what I wanted.” —
12. I Hate His Family
“That I absolutely hate some members of his family, and I wish he would cut them out.” —
13. Credit Card Trouble
“It wouldn’t ruin everything, but I am scared to tell him I ran up my credit cards that I paid off…AGAIN. He would be mad for about a day then he’d tell me we’ll figure it out but yeah.” —
14. Separate Bedroom
“I want a separate bedroom. One that is super feminine and just my own space. I will still sleep with him in his room whenever he wanted but I know he would always want to plus he would be super hurt. I’m sick of sharing half the drawers and closet. I’m sick of his socks on the floor. He works nights anyways so we only sleep together on the weekend anyways unless he is on holidays. Plus he comes home in the morning, crawls into bed and it wakes me up. Once I’m up I can’t go back to sleep. Plus I can never have a nicely made bed. I don’t make it because when I wake up he’s going to sleep for the day. When he wakes up he won’t make it because I’m going to go to bed in a few hours anyways and it’s such a hassle for him. I miss crawling into a freshly made bed.” —
15. Better Meatballs
“He’s Italian, but I make better meatballs than him.” —
