Patricia Grisafi
As a parent, there are so many challenges to raising a child of any sex—you want that child to grow up to become kind, respectful, curious, and generous in a world that unfortunately still holds toxic stereotypes about boys and girls.
One TikToker was disturbed by what she saw as a large number of men on the platform actively voicing their preference for a son based on sexist reasons.
Hey, men—if you’re worried about having a daughter because one day she will have breasts, you might want to rethink that parenting thing at this point in your life because you are not ready for it.
TikTok user Emraynea, AKA Emma, is a teenager who was disgusted by sexist men who don’t want a daughter.
In fact, based on the attitude of these men, Emma said she would be scared to have a daughter, too—because she’d eventually run into one of these men.
I’d just like to add — as the mom of a boy — that these kind of men have no business being around impressionable children of any sex. We’re got to raise our boys to reject misogyny and toxic masculinity because it harms them too.
In her video, Emma explained the reasons why she is afraid to have a daughter:
“Something I see a lot of on this app is boys saying that they hope they don’t have a daughter because of the possibility that they might wear a bikini or have a pair of boobs,” she said. “So today, I’m going to tell you why I’m scared to have a daughter.”
“I’m scared to have a daughter because she might go out in fear of her life because of your son. I’m scared to have a daughter because at a very young age, I’m going to have to teach her how to defend herself from your son. I’m scared to have a daughter because she might have to go through what I went through as somebody’s daughter. Because of your son, I’m scared to have a daughter because one day she might feel like she’s lost control of her own body—because your son couldn’t control his.”
Then she says that these men need to realize why they don’t want to have a daughter: “Because you’re scared of boys looking at her the way that you look at girls today.”
In an interview with Buzzfeed, Emma explained that she hopes her video can change peoples’ perspectives.
“I believe that there are much more important issues involved in worrying about having a daughter than her being comfortable with her own body, like the things I listed in the video. You’ll find comments [from men] like that all over the app. Mainly on videos of women showing a bit of skin or talking about their sexuality openly,” she said.
“I 100% think men and women are treated differently on the app. A woman cannot post a video of herself without men in the comments degrading, sexualizing, or insulting her. However, a man can post whatever he wants and be praised for it.”
“I can’t name one woman in my life who hasn’t been sexually assaulted, abused, or harassed by men. From a young age, we’re taught how to protect ourselves from men, but why aren’t we teaching men from a young age how to control themselves and respect women?”
Luckily for Emma, there’s a lot of parents out there who believe in empowering their children, teaching boundaries and consent, and having difficult conversations about the very things she is worried in. The more awareness, the better.
Featured Image: TikTok
