Me: *sings along to radio*
3yo: why don't you let it sing all by itself?
— Melissa McCartney (@ToastyGiraffe) November 26, 2016
Me: "Did you realize I'm the best dad in the house?"
My 13 yr-old: "Yeah, but you're also the worst dad in the house."
— Stuff My Kids Say (@StuffMyKidsSay3) May 7, 2017
7yo: Why can't I have coffee?
Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are
7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) August 13, 2016
7yr old daughter walked in the room, casually confirmed, "You have to have a backstory to why you're evil, right?" And walked out.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 24, 2016
7yo: I could see you and my teacher getting married.
Me: I'm married to your mom.
7yo: Well you could get a divorce.
(My 7yo is savage af.)
— The Dad (@thedad) September 1, 2016
(Man hobbles into grocery store using a cane)
5: HEY MOM THAT MAN IS USING A WALKING STICK BC HIS BONES AREN'T STRONG & HE'LL DIE SOON RIGHT
— Sweatpants Cher 🔶 (@House_Feminist) June 3, 2016
h/t: Bored Panda