Over the top marriage proposals. The more intimate the better.
Balloons, it’s “Hey I love you, take a sack of my breath”
Unsolicited back rubs.
I’m going to say this depends a bit on the person and what you’re looking for in a relationship. Personally, I’ve never wanted something casual (not that I fault those who do) and I am a clingy person in general. I’ve emotional baggage I could go into, but whatever, it’s just who I am. I get that it’s not for everybody, but I would want someone who messages me often every day, even if it’s just “look at this silly cat lov u” or whatever.
There is however a difference between clingy and desperate, I think. The difference is expecting an immediate response––I like it when someone texts me a bunch and I do the same, but if I text something and an hour or two goes by, I won’t feel slighted or anything (although depending, I might feel a little worried). I’d want the same to be true for my partner.
Being overly attentive. Attention is nice, but there’s a line. When we’ve first started dating, texting me every few hours comes across as clingy and desperate.
Theres been several times I’ve been talking to boyfriends/dates about things I’ve experienced ( stalking, attempted kidnapping, harrassment ect) in a relevant discusion, not even me bringing it up and the guys I’ve been with always say something along the line of, “thats bad, I’d never do something like that”. I know that the guy wants to reassure me and let me know that he’s not a threat, but instead it dismisses the issue and makes it seem like a freak one off, rather than a large part of daily lifed, it sounds like he’s saying he would never do it, and neither would men he knows so I must just be being dramatic.
This completely invalidates me, These were real scary events that should not be taboo to talk about, but whenever a man says that to me I feel as though I’m lying or being overly dramatic. The experience is related back to the man so he can be patted on the back for not assulting women and means I feel scared to talk about my experiances for fear I may be judged or not believed.
Being possessive. This is often glorified in romance novels but it’s super creepy irl.
I once went out with friends and one of them brought her boyfriend along because he didn’t want her to go out alone. We went to a bar and weren’t even there for five minutes before he started to flip shit. According to him the bartender was ogling his girlfriend and we had to leave or he would “teach him a lesson”.
It’s worse they don’t like every single photo but one day you get a random notification saying they’ve liked a photo from back in 2011 or something. Suddenly you’re aware they’ve been looking back through all those stupid pics you uploaded when you were younger.
Tell us that they think about us when they wank.
“Where’s my hug?”