11. The better part of you ran down your mother’s leg.
12. Mr. Rogers would be disappointed in the person you’ve become.
13. Your birth certificate is just an apology from the condom factory.
14. You’re the celery of people.
15. You look like the product of incest.
16. I had a lovely evening. But this wasn’t it.
17. Your breath smells like a wet flip-flop.
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) December 27, 2018
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