Masha
The author of a daily newsletter he claims gives you “the tools to optimize your life’s performance” has penned a tweet of attributes listing “How To Be A Beautiful Woman.”
His name is Alexander J.A. Cortes, and his last viral hot take espoused his belief that women who dye their hair “unnatural” colors are “toxic” and “crazy.” (He compared these women to poison-dart frogs and wasps who signal their lethality with bright coloring.)
Cortes’ “How To Be A Beautiful Woman” list is a rage-bait that has folks on Twitter all fired up. Which, of course, was his intention.
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098710614057222146
In the unlikely event the neg worked on some unfortunate soul, Cortes followed up the list by plugging his newsletter.
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098712809431433216
And offered it to men as a means of “vetting women.”
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098716595688370177
He then posted a selfie to “satisfy” the “fantasies” of women “desperate for [his] validation and attention.”
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098717363455717377
It didn’t stop there.
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098719271608147968
Cortes encouraged women to contact him so that he could teach them how to be attractive, but then added that he only talks “to women who are 8+s on a 10 scale.”
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098720737630679040
He wants women to know that if his list angered them, it’s probably because they’re fat.
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098728609106124800
“Women that react adversely to this thread,” Cortes warns, are “peak Delusional feminism.”
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098756342905368576
Cortes ended the thread by dedicating another selfie to all the women who want to “hate f**k” him.
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098758436181794816
But! It! Still! Didn’t! Stop! There!
The lady doth protest too much, no?
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098731637238460430
He forgot to add “loves to smile” to his list.
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098732133563023360
Twitter was quick to shut down Cortes’ particular brand of misogyny and self delusion.
How to be a Beautiful Woman
– Be thin
– Be able to cook
– Have long hair
– have a fish tail
– Lure sailors to their death
– Feast only on men
– Begin the mermaid revolution https://t.co/fIPvdz5orQ— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) February 22, 2019
How to be a good man:
Make this dude eat his own arm https://t.co/sBX7nJwunx— Ꮍᴀᴇʟ (@elle91) February 22, 2019
Well I for one am absolutely shattered that my dream of having a man who looks like he uses his own tears as lubricant love me will never come to fruition. This is truly a dark day.
— The Sassiest Semite (@LittleMissLizz) February 22, 2019
Attention women everywhere. Don't leave your drinks unattended around this dude
— Stefan Urquelle (@OfficeofSteve) February 22, 2019
OK, bearded lady.
— Alfred Lord Tennisball 🧐 (@TreeRingCircus) February 21, 2019
https://twitter.com/ManInTheHoody/status/1098827056782045184
https://twitter.com/fancypantsnurs/status/1098776099067174912
Damn and here I was thinking my wife was beautiful without like any of these
— Efran🥒 (@EfranZucchini) February 21, 2019
How to be a tool
– Write tweets like this
The End
— Ghost Dog (@JeetoCheesus) February 22, 2019
Lets play who wore it best pic.twitter.com/oc3QlOmGao
— Dave (@pittdave13) February 22, 2019
https://twitter.com/HedgehogClown/status/1098994028610310148
I found her. I found your perfect woman.
Now make your ass potted mean sandwiches and shut up. pic.twitter.com/BtT7mBKUSo
— Koko ✊🏼✊🏽✊🏿 (@Kokomothegreat) February 22, 2019
— thea 🖤 (@_coyotegf) February 22, 2019
I would rather circle my hairy arsehole with a red hot poker than obtain your validation. Creep.
— Our Rach (@ourrachblogs) February 22, 2019
https://twitter.com/LazyCyclist_/status/1098931884913029121
https://twitter.com/clxssicpng/status/1098799896214323201
Thanks for the tip, Walmart Fabio!!!
— Madame Lifewaster Jr. 😐💀 (@elunatyk) February 22, 2019
https://twitter.com/DeborahJaneOrr/status/1098968342877089793
As much as we’d like to believe Cortes is trolling, his entire Twitter timeline and YouTube channel suggest otherwise. “This is why having haters is a good thing,” he wrote in a series of subsequent tweets. “Its alchemy. They fuel you and make you unstoppable, they can never forgot you, they can never not pay attention to you.”
Lol, ok.
