The author of a daily newsletter he claims gives you “the tools to optimize your life’s performance” has penned a tweet of attributes listing “How To Be A Beautiful Woman.”
His name is Alexander J.A. Cortes, and his last viral hot take espoused his belief that women who dye their hair “unnatural” colors are “toxic” and “crazy.” (He compared these women to poison-dart frogs and wasps who signal their lethality with bright coloring.)
Cortes’ “How To Be A Beautiful Woman” list is a rage-bait that has folks on Twitter all fired up. Which, of course, was his intention.
https://twitter.com/AJA_Cortes/status/1098710614057222146
In the unlikely event the neg worked on some unfortunate soul, Cortes followed up the list by plugging his newsletter.
You can learn more about how to be a feminine and beautiful woman that men want on my newsletter
remember, only a man can tell a woman how to acthttps://t.co/zNvAjrqfeC
— Alexander Cortes PhD, Fitness, Nutrition, Fat loss (@AJA_Cortes) February 21, 2019
And offered it to men as a means of “vetting women.”
You can use this list to vet women
If you show them this list and they become angry, that lets you know that they are harpies that you never want to breed with
and that they would be terrible mothers
stay woke kings
— Alexander Cortes PhD, Fitness, Nutrition, Fat loss (@AJA_Cortes) February 21, 2019
He then posted a selfie to “satisfy” the “fantasies” of women “desperate for [his] validation and attention.”
I see a lot of you women are desperate for my validation and attention
Here’s a selfie that you can use to satisfy your fantasies pic.twitter.com/7W9qSmYP9P
— Alexander Cortes PhD, Fitness, Nutrition, Fat loss (@AJA_Cortes) February 21, 2019
It didn’t stop there.
Based on these replies, a lot of you poor women sound like you’re under fucked
That is unfortunate
If you follow the lessons on the list, you can become a woman that Masculine men are attracted to
Contact me to learn how to be beautiful https://t.co/zNvAjrqfeC
— Alexander Cortes PhD, Fitness, Nutrition, Fat loss (@AJA_Cortes) February 21, 2019
Cortes encouraged women to contact him so that he could teach them how to be attractive, but then added that he only talks “to women who are 8+s on a 10 scale.”
I have a personal policy that I only talk to women who are 8+s on a 10 scale
so if I ignore your reply, don’t feel bad
you can probably upgrade yourself if you follow the roadmap that I’ve given you
Beauty can always be learned
— Alexander Cortes PhD, Fitness, Nutrition, Fat loss (@AJA_Cortes) February 21, 2019
He wants women to know that if his list angered them, it’s probably because they’re fat.
If you’re angry, it might be because your excess bodyfat is causing hormonal fluctuations that make you emotional
You can fix this by working out and going to the gym and unfatting Yourself
Fit women are pretty women https://t.co/R3BCeSa72l
— Alexander Cortes PhD, Fitness, Nutrition, Fat loss (@AJA_Cortes) February 21, 2019
“Women that react adversely to this thread,” Cortes warns, are “peak Delusional feminism.”
Pay attention to all the women that react adversely to this thread Gentlemen
What you'll observe here is the peak of Delusional feminism, women who believe that simply because they exist, they are "valuable" despite being bitchy & horrifying
More redflags than a Chinese parade
— Alexander Cortes PhD, Fitness, Nutrition, Fat loss (@AJA_Cortes) February 22, 2019
Cortes ended the thread by dedicating another selfie to all the women who want to “hate f**k” him.
One more photo for all the women who read this and want to hate fuck me SO BAD pic.twitter.com/lr34ubiXEK
— Alexander Cortes PhD, Fitness, Nutrition, Fat loss (@AJA_Cortes) February 22, 2019
But! It! Still! Didn’t! Stop! There!
The lady doth protest too much, no?
Since I’m feeling generous
If you sign up today for the newsletter, I’ll teach you my hair care regimen
Having a magnificent mane that is the envy of women, men, and Lions is no accident https://t.co/zNvAjrqfeC pic.twitter.com/GTxMzp5Qns
— Alexander Cortes PhD, Fitness, Nutrition, Fat loss (@AJA_Cortes) February 21, 2019
He forgot to add “loves to smile” to his list.
And I completely forgot to add “Loves to smile”
A smile makes you beautiful
Don’t ever forget it
There’s few things more repugnant than resting bitch face
Let the light shine through (assuming you have any)
— Alexander Cortes PhD, Fitness, Nutrition, Fat loss (@AJA_Cortes) February 21, 2019
Twitter was quick to shut down Cortes’ particular brand of misogyny and self delusion.
How to be a Beautiful Woman
– Be thin
– Be able to cook
– Have long hair
– have a fish tail
– Lure sailors to their death
– Feast only on men
– Begin the mermaid revolution https://t.co/fIPvdz5orQ— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) February 22, 2019
How to be a good man:
Make this dude eat his own arm https://t.co/sBX7nJwunx— Ꮍᴀᴇʟ (@elle91) February 22, 2019
Well I for one am absolutely shattered that my dream of having a man who looks like he uses his own tears as lubricant love me will never come to fruition. This is truly a dark day.
— The Sassiest Semite (@LittleMissLizz) February 22, 2019
Attention women everywhere. Don't leave your drinks unattended around this dude
— Stefan Urquelle (@OfficeofSteve) February 22, 2019
OK, bearded lady.
— Alfred Lord Tennisball 🧐 (@TreeRingCircus) February 21, 2019
https://twitter.com/ManInTheHoody/status/1098827056782045184
Alex is this how you would write a novel? pic.twitter.com/ZpuO6GbGqS
— FancyPants (@fancypantsnurs) February 22, 2019
Damn and here I was thinking my wife was beautiful without like any of these
— Efran🥒 (@EfranZucchini) February 21, 2019
How to be a tool
– Write tweets like this
The End
— ghost dog (@JeetoCheesus) February 22, 2019
Lets play who wore it best pic.twitter.com/oc3QlOmGao
— Dave Ween (@pittdave13) February 22, 2019
https://twitter.com/HedgehogClown/status/1098994028610310148
I found her. I found your perfect woman.
Now make your ass potted mean sandwiches and shut up. pic.twitter.com/BtT7mBKUSo
— Koko (@Kokomothegreat) February 22, 2019
— wake up alone now its december (@Eldritchipster) February 22, 2019
I would rather circle my hairy arsehole with a red hot poker than obtain your validation. Creep.
— Rachel Hawkins (@ourrachblogs) February 22, 2019
https://twitter.com/LazyCyclist_/status/1098931884913029121
— zain (@bluevelvvt) February 22, 2019
Thanks for the tip, Walmart Fabio!!!
— Madame Lifewaster Jr. 😐💀 (@elunatyk) February 22, 2019
https://twitter.com/DeborahJaneOrr/status/1098968342877089793
As much as we’d like to believe Cortes is trolling, his entire Twitter timeline and YouTube channel suggest otherwise. “This is why having haters is a good thing,” he wrote in a series of subsequent tweets. “Its alchemy. They fuel you and make you unstoppable, they can never forgot you, they can never not pay attention to you.”
Lol, ok.