The last few weeks have been rough on women in the US. We’ve watched our rights stripped back in slow-motion and have felt increasingly powerless to stop any of it. Our fight rages on, both in the large world stage and in the small.
One woman on Twitter recently pointed out something she had observed in men: when a woman is talking, they’re quick to refute her.
Toph Cassandra Beifong, an electrical engineer, took to Twitter to share the observation. She explained that she has AuDHD, Autism, and ADHD, which means her “autistic brain has to learn by observation” because she does not pick up on social cues.
One pattern she noticed was how often men resist ideas given by women. This creates a constant struggle for women, who have to prepare a defense for everything and anything.
Sounds exhausting, right? Yeah, it is.
Constantly having to get a defense ready is exhausting. Women go through this daily.
“It’s socialized resistance to women speaking—and every man I know does it either subconsciously or consciously,” Toph wrote.
She finished her thread by noting that none of this was a debate and people on Twitter quickly agreed with her.
One user wrote: “When a man says ‘no’, it’s the end of the discussion. When woman says ‘no’, it’s the beginning of a negotiation.”
Another laughed about how “the men in the replies” were proving Toph’s point. “Women: men can never take our word, they have to object to everything. Men in the comments: THAT’S NOT TRUE!!!!”
“Is this why capable and smart women often voice their good ideas as questions?” wondered a third user. She went on: “Smart woman: This can be fixed by doing a and b. Smart woman dealing w grown men: Should we do a and b? A and B would work because [whole thesis]. What do you think?”
Maybe we can all see this and start getting better.