Kate Hackett
I mean, shoot your shot, but … THIS shot? Now? Methinks you may have gone too far sir.
Meet Abby Rose
Abby recently turned to TikTok (@abbyrose311) and shared a message she got on Hinge from a man who liked her profile… but only to try to meet the friend in one of her photos.
Abby is a college student in the Pittsburgh area.
Sidebar, everyone: don’t post photos of you and other people. Why would you do that? What if your friend is cuter? What if I can’t tell which one is you? Just … don’t do this.
So the dude messages Abby and asks about her friend in the picture. Abby says her pal has a boyfriend and tells the man that asking about her was not cool.
Abby’s TikTok has over a million views but people are super divided in the comments.
“I’ve done this and guys always give me their friend’s social. It’s not that deep. Sometimes that’s the only way if they’re strangers,” commented one person on the video.
“I never post pictures with friends for this reason,” confided another. “I get hurt.”
Yet another person sympathized with Abby, “You dodged a bullet.”
Abby spoke with Buzzfeed about the message.
She said, “Matching with someone just to ask about their friends is extremely shallow, in my opinion. None of my friends would ever want a guy’s information who acted like that, either.”
She also admitted that the TikTok did not show the man’s response.
He wrote back, “I know, I’m sorry; I just had to know.” Abby interpreted that as, “He knew it was a rude thing to do; he just didn’t care.”
Abby says she found the interaction funny and was not expecting the response in the comments from people on both sides of the issue.
“A lot of the hardest comments to read were the ones telling me I came off as insecure, jealous, or as a bad friend for feeling this way,” she said.
The friend in the photo knew about the TikTok and also found the entire thing funny, but increasingly disliked the negative comments that seemed to want to push the two women to fight with each other.
Here’s what TikTok had to say:
“Constantly receiving those messages asking about your friends can really negatively impact someone’s self-esteem and confidence,” said Abby.
She added, “This entire thing was definitely an experience, and I learned a lot about dating app culture and, more specifically, how to have thick skin on the internet.”
