Emily
It’s that time of the week again, folks. Your work day is coming to a close and the sweet freedom of the weekend is only a few hours away. To celebrate, we’ve collected all of the funniest tweets by women this week for your enjoyment. So, sit back, relax and try not to pee your pants after reading these hilarious jokes.
1.
beyond thrilled to announce that i am going to bed!!!
— kelly (@kelllicopter) April 3, 2019
2.
https://twitter.com/ValeeGrrl/status/1113488279851106304
3.
https://twitter.com/ellaceron/status/1112358333992730624
4.
I would like to think money won’t change me, but I found $5 in the pocket of my spring coat and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) April 2, 2019
5.
i hope all my exes appreciate how easy it is to check up on me online, i put a lot of time and effort into oversharing every aspect of my life on here and i’d hate for it to go to waste
— UnDo 512 #Stop Cop City (@stop_sweeps_atx) April 3, 2019
6.
How to get a boyfriend as told by a kindergartner:
“well you just get a best friend that’s a boy then you love him so much he turns into your boyfriend! It’s really easy Ms. Lockwood”
— anna (@anna__estelle) October 22, 2018
7.
https://twitter.com/baybaydayday/status/1052918601584431104
8.
Just threw my phone across the room bc it took more than 4 seconds for an image to load, how did we survive 1997
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 4, 2019
9.
nordstrom rack: hey do you need some $30 jeans
me: nah i’m good
nordstrom rack: what if they also fit weird
me: i’m listening— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) April 3, 2019
10.
https://twitter.com/bakedbeanbitch/status/1113681958855294977
11.
When I empty the dishwasher I do it really loudly, that way my entire family knows when I’m doing God’s work.
— Just J (@junejuly12) April 4, 2019
12.
i am not making “bad life choices” i am taking “big artistic swings”
— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) April 5, 2019
13.
i stay not drinking enough water to maintain the possibility that “drink more water” will fix all my problems
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) April 2, 2019
14.
currently sitting in a cafe and *writing
*texting everyone from my past
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) April 3, 2019
15.
https://twitter.com/GMPaiella/status/1112825842370002944
h/t Huff Post
