Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago. Either way, these were 15 of the most hilarious tweets we saw this week.
Alcohol: You know Kung Fu and you’re not afraid to use it
Brain: This makes sense right now
Body: We’re on board
Pavement: Come at me bro
— Mischievous Mike (@mstern68) July 12, 2016
Has anyone ever sent one of these on purpose?? pic.twitter.com/NL4AkQtSVc
— Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) July 13, 2016
I wish Pokémon Go could teach me how to catch, uh, “Hamilton” tickets. There, that’s two things. Send tweet
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) July 11, 2016
ME: I’d like to return this Tic Tac.
CLERK: It looks partially eaten.
ME: It’s still in…
ME: …mint condition.
— Todd ‘Papi’ Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) July 11, 2016
changed the wikipedia page for justin bieber “sorry” to better fit how im feeling right now pic.twitter.com/xGn3lQ7iu7
— Rooster Mustache (@RoosterMustache) July 13, 2016
*Busts through Kool-aid mans wall*
Kool-aid man: Not cool. What I do is fake. This is our home
Me: I’m sorr…
*A sippy cup starts crying*
— Boog (@BoogTweets) July 7, 2016
My neighbor posts something like this every now and then. As if she’s not literally ON THE INTERNET when she asks FB pic.twitter.com/raxpEMaeN2
— keith (@tchrquotes) July 11, 2016
Everyone chill! Congress will get to guns, police violence & climate change just as soon as they finish this 20th hearing on emails.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) July 7, 2016
— Andrew Lentz (@LentzManCometh) July 10, 2016
[dies and goes to Heaven]
GOD: Hello, welcome to-
ME: WHERE ARE ALL MY DOGS?
GOD: Right this way.
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) July 7, 2016
2016’s most trendy black person Christmas gift: pic.twitter.com/ex1QPkC6Ik
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) July 9, 2016
[Studio meeting for Human Centipede 12]
How many folks did we sew ass-to-mouth last time?
— batkaren (@batkaren) July 1, 2016
— Steve Silberman (@stevesilberman) July 12, 2016
RIP theater designer who died in the middle of dictating this sign pic.twitter.com/XzNGLtSsyD
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) July 8, 2016
I guess it’s kind of romantic when couples die a day apart but it’s also kind of like damn Agnes, you really stole Frank’s thunder.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) July 11, 2016
And if you need even more, you can always check out last week’s most hilarious tweets.