Ruin My Week
21.
I used to work at a bar when I was 18 & got fired at 20 for underage drinking. I went back to visit the staff 3 months later & Britney Spears pulled up weeks after she shaved her head. We had a cigarette in the private patio while she caressed my hair. I couldn’t make this up. https://t.co/qHb4LsUy6m
— Ourfa Zinali (@ourfazinali) January 8, 2020
22.
My middle name is literally a fucking typo. My mom had a c section and forgot to write the rest of Nicole due to the drugs, she fell asleep and they took the paperwork, wouldn’t give it back and now my middle name is Ni https://t.co/SYbP92eN9r
— Lil L (@lindsey_ni) January 8, 2020
23.
I don’t tell this story because everyone thinks it’s a lie anyway but I once tweeted about getting drunk in fancy clothes, a random guy saw it, and he invited me to Kanye West’s party that night, where I met a man who gave me seats to Rihanna’s first PUMAxFenty show the next day. https://t.co/AmfpVwpwyI
— Sarah McGonagall (@sarahmcgphoto) January 8, 2020
24.
Once accidentally kidnapped a drunk man who was trying to get into his own home. Saw him slumped by the road, coaxed him into the cab to ‘take him home safely’ and ignored his slurry protests. Some 30 mins of confusing directions later and we… end up at exactly the same place. https://t.co/cwj43Fig8g
— Sara Spary (@saramayspary) January 7, 2020
25.
Moved into what we believed was a three bedroom apartment. Discovered a fourth, hidden bedroom—still furnished and filled with the clothes, records, and diaries of a hip art student who had lived there 15 years ago. https://t.co/DbchiUdEey
— Ignatiy Vishnevetsky (@vishnevetsky) January 7, 2020
26.
My grandma dated Ted Bundy in the mid-70s, my grandpa found the body of a victim of the Green River Killer, and that same grandma’s best friend was a Black Widow who killed at least 3 of her husbands for the insurance money. https://t.co/Y0MTfoYJMc
— Robin Epley (@ByRobinEpley) January 7, 2020
27.
I got hit by a cop on Friday the 13th when I was in the 7th grade. Broke my arm. Worked out well – same cop pulled me over a couple times in high school. He’d see me and say “oh, it’s you,” then let me go.
— (@glyphwizard) January 7, 2020
28.
In 2011 I was present in cities when they suffered a volcanic eruption, Tsunami, Earthquake, and Hurricane. All in a single calendar year. https://t.co/jqYemfAm1Z
— Aaron Borgmann (@RehabAllStar) January 7, 2020
29.
In college I fell out of my bunk bed and broke both of my legs and one arm. Years later on a date, I made a joke about being clumsy and the dude told me I couldn’t compare to this woman his EMT brother helped once … who fell out of her bunk and broke all the bones. It was me. https://t.co/TQSEwXK4rw
— Amanda Nell Edgar (@amandanelledgar) January 7, 2020
30.
My best friend flew half way around the world to stop me being forced into a marriage when I was 18. She called me a few days before and asked me if I was happy to get married, I hesitated, but said I was. That was enough for her to rock up 2 days later and stop it happening. https://t.co/gUCSM0y5zk
— Safiya الخيبري (@Khaybari628) January 7, 2020
