One thing no one ever talks about being an adult is how much time you debate yourself on keeping a cardboard box because it’s, like, a really good box.
— Madame Anthro ✨ (@madameanthro) January 10, 2020
One time when I was like 11 my dad took me to an Italian restaurant and the waiter asked what my name was and I said “Sam but you can call me captain ravioli” and my dad just looked at me and said “what the fuck was that? don’t do that” and I’ve been chasing that high ever since.
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) January 15, 2020
— dirt prince (@pant_leg) January 15, 2020
— Suzanne Westbrook (@tnchic) January 15, 2020
men be like I’m bilingual I speak English and over women
— Arely (@arelygabriela_) January 13, 2020
being into straight men is surreal. one time a few years ago I had a guy over for dinner and he asked to help cook so I told him to halve the cauliflower and when I looked over he was literally trying to rip it apart. with his bare hands. most insane thing I’ve ever witnessed
— sloane (sipihkopiyesis) (@cottoncandaddy) January 14, 2020
Peas are one of his favourite foods, and Atticus was so excited to get some that he didn’t know which one to eat first! pic.twitter.com/fy3kE0kgrW
— Amy W. Schwartz (@lizardschwartz) January 10, 2020
… after this? No https://t.co/spKBAoYIQw
— gov michaela (@MichaelaOkla) January 15, 2020