Day 3 in quarantine. My mom made me check my 11 year old brother’s search history. He has searched “how tall is goofy” and “why do Mormons have so many trampolines.” For his sake, I almost wish I found something bad
— Addison (@addie_huneycutt) March 24, 2020
pre-isolation: ah there’s a bug in here kill it!!!
now: hello Kendra the bug welcome to our home may we interest you in a glass of wine
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) March 22, 2020
One thing I’ve learned so far in quarantine is that my husband refuses to microwave anything for 45 seconds, he always does 44. When I asked him why, he said, “For Obama.”
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) March 26, 2020
A lot of you probably have coronavirus bc one symptom is having no taste
— Amish (@camillepawglia) March 26, 2020
(any scene in a movie in which more than one person appears)
DAD: You couldn’t do that now. Coronavirus.
— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) March 27, 2020
Me in 2019: If I could just have like a week with nothing to do and nowhere to go I could finally get this house clean and organized.
Me now: Nope, that wasn’t the problem….
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) March 24, 2020
People who are quarantining in jeans: what are you trying to prove
— sarafcarter (@sarafcarter) March 21, 2020
my overprotective catholic mother just told me this lockdown is God’s way of telling me I go out too much.. sorry everybody this entire pandemic is my fault for not staying home MY BAD
— jai (@bootangina) March 20, 2020
my houseplants seeing me approach with a watering can for the second time in three days pic.twitter.com/nzglb6A407
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) March 25, 2020
I just coughed so loud the neighbors set their house on fire and drove away.
— Felicia (@LostFelicia) March 25, 2020