Pleated-Jeans
Hey hey, it’s FRIDAY! That means the disgusting and insulting workweek is finally over, and it also means you get the privilege of pouring the funniest damn tweets from women straight into your everlovin’ eyeholes. You’re blessed! We all are, frankly. So sit back, crack open a cold one, and let the laughs wash over your weary body the like waves of the Pacific Ocean.
1.
Sorry I’m late, I still don’t know how long it takes to shower
— Allie Goertz (@AllieGoertz) October 8, 2019
2.
Me and the three other people who don’t want to be at the party on our way to locate the rumoured obese cat in the bedroom pic.twitter.com/SYUae9VLqg
— Mindy Furano (@MindyFurano) October 9, 2019
3.
oh my god pic.twitter.com/RTuiHSl8cW
— NEET GIRL (@ACTUALNEETGIRL) October 8, 2019
4.
https://twitter.com/ashleelove__/status/1180609467844575235
5.
no one:
married girls on insta: being in love is the HARDEST thing ever but so WORTH IT we fight NONSTOP but we love like CRAZY I fucking HATE my husband but that's just part of being in LOVE true love is DIRTY & HARD but so REWARDING I LOVE doing his LAUNDRY & wiping his ASS— red whine supernova 🌟 (@sarahndipity18) October 7, 2019
6.
I’m 29 years old but it’s ok because that’s only 1 in brita filter years
— Fossilized Tree Resin (@Jamberee13) October 8, 2019
7.
me: *hits spider web down with broom*
spider: wow
me: *puts up fake spider web decorations for Halloween*
spider: WOW
— Za Morant (@worldchvmpion) October 5, 2019
8.
Me leaving CVS on my period https://t.co/NJFoJWppSO
— Luisa Lange (@Luisa_Lange) October 11, 2019
9.
Called a restaurant to make a reservation but couldn’t think of the word so asked for a food appointment and now I can never show my face there again
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) October 7, 2019
10.
https://twitter.com/casualafro/status/1182076524461248513