Holy hell, it’s December. While that should obviously be illegal and winter should be canceled, we’re just going to have to make the best of it. Another week gone means another week filled with laughter thanks to the very funny ladies of Twitter. Chuck these hilarious jokes in your laughholes and try not to choke. You’re welcome.
1.
Girls and gays will spend an hour perfecting their outfit then pair it with a stained tote bag filled with loose pills and gum wrappers
— ursula (@AltOccult) December 1, 2019
2.
men are perfect, to me. no notes! pic.twitter.com/eJHYigvkFu
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) December 4, 2019
3.
i just found a “Christian version” of the Cha Cha slide & i am dying.
please god tell me this is the war on Christmas pic.twitter.com/XHDfq70ZOf— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) December 4, 2019
4.
i got an oil change and the guy told me i needed a tire rotation. lmao, the tires are rotating every time i drive it, that’s how it works. idiot.
— katie (@kkatiee1) December 3, 2019
5.
dumbest bitch award goes to me pic.twitter.com/SpZdj6HUzZ
— (@JADAEDW) December 2, 2019
6.
if i EVER find out a magic school bus is inside me exploring i will be livid
— gingerbread home investor (@poniesandsodies) December 4, 2019
7.
— ericka (@Erickajamon) December 1, 2019
8.
my neighbor right before he tells me what’s wrong w my lawn pic.twitter.com/9440i86ja9
— deck the halls w kimmymonte ❄️ (@KimmyMonte) November 30, 2019
9.
This is just the absolute worst advent calendar I’ve ever gotten pic.twitter.com/XTSFI5u1fr
— maybe: clare (@clur19) December 4, 2019
10.
today I learned that jalapenos get stretch marks when they grow and now I don’t have self esteem issues anymore
— Kie (@KielyHealey) December 3, 2019