Some people do physical labor jobs that slowly destroy their bodies while others work in offices that slowly destroy their souls. This is about those office jobs and all the strings that come attached to them. From forced corporate cheerfulness and pointless emails, to awkward interactions with co-workers in the shared kitchen, life is hell and office life is the 9th level. Anyone who has ever worked within the beige confines of a cubicle under the flickering fluorescent lights of a dropped ceiling will understand.
If you’ve ever worked in an office (or are secretly reading this at your office job right now) these office tweets are for you.
How to be a grown up at work:
Replace “Fuck you” with “Ok, great”
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) April 3, 2015
Every work email I send:
Sorry to bug you!
Was just wondering
(If it’s not too much trouble)
Would it be possible to do thing you said you’d do?
Totally fine if not!
Prob my fault anyway I’m an idiot 🙂
Sorry to bother you!
Sorry I exist!
Just let me know!
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) October 19, 2018
someone at my corporate job had a baby and in the congrats group email some people called it the “newest member of the team”
i need to escape this pic.twitter.com/YdS5pxGKBi
— (@CONEY) November 20, 2019
When your co-worker brings donuts to the office and you have to pretend you don’t want one immediately pic.twitter.com/W3syG21xzP
— wwwdmmmffnn (@woodmuffin) September 10, 2018
Due to enormous personal flaws I refuse to work on, I will be arriving 20 minutes late with iced coffee, please respect that
— 1984’s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) February 17, 2020
imagine having the confidence to walk into an office kitchen and not immediately say “sorry”
— Sam Parker (@samparkercouk) February 6, 2020
“I’ve CC’d in my boss”
– mildly threatening
“You wanna say that in front of Greg?”
– threat level 9000
– who is Greg and what is he capable of
— ruby (@roobeekeane) January 29, 2020
90% of my job is squinting at my monitor when somebody walks by so it looks like I’m concentrating on some work.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 28, 2016
It’s so rude when you deal with all your emails and then people REPLY
— Holly Brockwell (@holly) January 29, 2020
I’m trying to convince my coworker to go to lunch so I can eat the skittle under his desk pic.twitter.com/z8V3kVzuO2
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) February 3, 2016