Ruin My Week
11.
this is where one might say “same” pic.twitter.com/AjhHwlsnvN
— Sarah Holder (@sarahsholder) October 29, 2019
12.
13.
well, clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming? pic.twitter.com/84YcKqTIxJ
— DJ SHITE-IN-A-BUCKET (@gothtitty) September 5, 2019
14.
my therapist just referred to her therapist as my grand-therapist . trying to process.
— corie johnson (@corietjohnson) October 30, 2019
15.
Sorry I’m late traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past 5 years and I was not expecting that
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) November 18, 2019
16.
Girl, I’m a sweet guy
Reply to all your tweets guy
Be cool if we could meet guy
Send pics of your feet guy
Please reply to my chat type
Or else I will get mad type
You only date Chads type
Whatever, you’re so fat typeI’m a niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice guy
Bitch
— The Suede-Denim Secret Police (@MiseryVulture) August 2, 2019
17.
So yesterday I’m sitting at my desk eating figs drizzled in honey and slices of dried sausage and cheese with a rind and my boss comes up behind me and says “what is this breakfast. why do you eat like a roman emperor”and then walked away and I’ve been thinking about it for hours
— Kayla Ancrum (@KaylaAncrum) September 25, 2019
18.
High school teachers: your college professors won’t be nearly as laid back as I am
My college professor: pic.twitter.com/CSAAeqB5LX
— Olivia Reed (@liv_reed17) October 5, 2019
19.
the last time i went to urgent care i checked off “excessive crying” on the symptom list and the nurse got really confused and told me that was meant for babies
— bug (@BUGPOSTING) September 18, 2019
20.
Things I thought I would have as an adult: a thriving career, an amazing social life, an impressive retirement account.
Things I actually have as an adult: a plastic bag filled with plastic bags, a favorite spatula, crippling anxiety.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 25, 2019
