Max
Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find.
And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.
Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago.
Either way, please enjoy this collection of the 15 funniest tweets we saw this week.
my cat really cheaped out on her halloween costume this year pic.twitter.com/8mij8vrGyh
— JAY [ham] KAY (@NurseMurderer) October 31, 2017
Me: smiles
Guy with guitar: hey
Me: [gets right into his face] you gonna write a song about this u fucken acoustic musician
— bog witch challenge (@hellohappy_time) September 23, 2017
Babies be walking around with the same potatoe chip in their hand for like 5 hours
— PROD. BY @VERYRVRE (@TASH__P) October 30, 2017
my fave part of halloween is November 3rd when all of the pumpkins become nice elderly people pic.twitter.com/qXMiDH1G40
— jade (@TheDreamGhoul) October 31, 2017
* yelling through a glory hole*
HAS ANYONE OVER THERE SEEN THE KEYS TO A SUBARU FORESTER
— Boog (@BoogTweets) October 29, 2017
Teenage Chef: my Halloween crème brûleéééééeeee!! pic.twitter.com/GJX9QYwohk
— Elvish Presley (@_ElvishPresley_) October 31, 2017
so im at a halloween party & some guy just tried to chat to a girl dressed as a bus she was like sorry cant stop im the bus from speed lmao
— k e i t h (@KeetPotato) October 30, 2017
when you’re the superior race but ya brother billy also lookin like a snack in them bootcut levi’s pic.twitter.com/njShDZlLN7
— Peter (@OkigboHTX) October 29, 2017
I went to Medieval Times and I saw the Princess check her phone. THE MAGIC WAS GONE AND I WILL NOT BE BACK.
— Brooks Wheelan (@brookswheelan) October 29, 2017
“can I have 2 sausage & cheese biscuits”
That’ll be $2.60
“with egg”
$7.78
NVM no egg
$17.83
“What?”
[at gun point] give us ur wallet
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) October 29, 2017
ME: Go on, talk to her. I make an excellent wingman.
FRIEND: ok, here goes…Um, hi. Can I buy you a drink?
ME: (flapping arms wildly) CAW— Elle Oh Hell (@ElleOhHell) October 27, 2017
[trying to get out of date]
ME: Oh sorry, I have a missed call from 911
HIM: That’s not how-
ME: *mouthing* IT’S AN EMERGENCY— Caitlin (@caithuls) June 16, 2017
INTERVIEWER: it says here you have a great memory
ME: I do
INTERVIEWER: what’s my name?
ME: *slight pause* Interviewer— Very Scary Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) October 18, 2017
I’m not becoming my dad [someone parks in front of my house] what the fucking shit is this
— vineyille (@vineyille) October 28, 2017
Detective: Seems our victim was hit by a bus
Me: I guess you could say he *takes off sunglasses* *puts sunglasses back on* Its bright out— An Toilet Whom Scary (@ToiletMike) December 30, 2016
If you need even more, you can check out last week’s very funny tweets.
