Aimeé
Professor and podcast host Kate Bowler has naturally produced a very precocious child. He is not only curious in the world around him, but he’s also realized that the best way to manipulate his mom is by asking her questions that get her thinking. He’s a baby philosopher. A baby philosopher who really, really doesn’t want to go to bed.
She wrote on Twitter, “Every night, in the sweetest voice, my six year old asks me a question in order to try and stall me from leaving. I commit to documenting these questions every night for the next 30 days because THAT KID HAS GAME.”
Every night, in the sweetest voice, my six year old asks me a question in order to try and stall me from leaving. I commit to documenting these questions every night for the next 30 days because THAT KID HAS GAME.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 2, 2020
He absolutely does. As promised, Bowler has been dedicated to sharing his musings with us. They seem to be as much a part of the bedtime ritual as brushing your teeth, but much more haunting. Some of his questions are so intriguing, they’ll be keeping me up tonight. See what sparks your imagination:
1.
Tonight: Mom…..mom…mom? Mom. Ok, mom. Have you ever eaten a pumpkin? COME BACK. Mom. Have you ever eaten pumpkin seeds? MOM WHAT DO THEY TASTE LIKE!!!!!!!!!
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 2, 2020
2.
Me: Goodnight sweetie.
Him: Mom?
Me: no. I love you but no.
Him: Are raccoons awake right now? Mom. They can’t kill you. MOM. They don’t have sharp enough teeth. MOM COME BACK HAVE YOU SEEN THEM IT IS SAFE I AM NOT AFRAID— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 4, 2020
3.
He just yelled “DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH ONE EYE?” into the darkness.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 4, 2020
4.
He might of said “bees” or “beets” or “beads.” I couldn’t make it out. He had already been tucked in three times.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 5, 2020
5.
Night 2 (sorry!)
Me: Goodnight sweetie.
Him: Do you know any myths…any legends?
Me: The legend of the boy who wouldn’t go to bed. Goodnight.
Him: Oh, oh, oh, do you know this legend? Mom. Come back. MOM. It’s about a giant squid. MOM THE SQUID DESTROYED MANY MANY BOATS!— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 5, 2020
6.
Him: goodnight mom. Love you.
Me: love you (leaves)
Him: (next room) Mom? Is cheese funny? I think it is. I only like STRING cheese. …Mom? Mom. MOM. IS GOOGLE A PERSON?AND WAS GOD EVER BORN?!???
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 6, 2020
7.
Him: goodnight mom. Love you.
Me: love you (leaves)
Him: (next room) Mom? Is cheese funny? I think it is. I only like STRING cheese. …Mom? Mom. MOM. IS GOOGLE A PERSON?AND WAS GOD EVER BORN?!???
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 6, 2020
8.
Me: Goodnight my love.
Him: Goodnight mom. This is a good.
Me: Yeah?
Him: Yes. I’m going to sleep now.
Me: Perfect. (leaves)
….
Him: DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE LAST MEGALODON?
….
Him: (quietly) I think he lives in the ocean.
….
Him: THE BACIFIC OCEAN! MOMM. IN A COLD SPOT!— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 6, 2020
9.
Okay I can hear him in the next room. He is talking about Canada being separate from America as “The Civil Wars.” ….as a historian…I’m not sure what to say about my job performance.
— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 8, 2020
10.
Him: before you go, tell me one constellation of stars.
Me: Orion. Goodnight lovie.
Him: mom, wait! I have to tell you. [dramaric pause] I picked you.
Me: what?
Him: as a baby. I picked you. For my mom.
Me: [melting]
Him: I picked your tummy. You are MY mom.
Me: you win.— Kate Bowler (@KatecBowler) April 9, 2020
