Are you the type of person who gets excited about meals scheduled in the distant future? The type of person who has their final death row meal all buttoned up? The sort of individual who could never be in a relationship with a person who doesn’t enjoy food as much as you do, simply because the amount of joy it brings you may be slightly embarrassing?
If so, you’ve come to the right place.
1.
2.
Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) December 30, 2018
3.
Overrated: shower sex
Underrated: eating in the shower— Just another Crazy Fucker (@gunsblazinjsn) December 30, 2018
4.
ranch is by far the best/most underrated condiment out there.
hear me out:pizza?
RANCHwings?
RANCHsalad?
RANCHchicken nuggets?
RANCHcarrots?
RANCHwraps?
RANCH— danielle lomastro (@dmlomaa) December 31, 2018
5.
When you put rice and chicken on your fork and the chicken falls out and you swallow just rice https://t.co/Jo0oUr7Gjr
— saint (@MilkHenny) January 3, 2019
6.
https://twitter.com/AshleyGriffo_/status/1078605432606941184
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 9, 2019
7.
Keto Diet’s cool but have you tried the Cheeto Diet?
— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) January 3, 2019
8.
Where’s my food 🐕 pic.twitter.com/TzBpKtrohS
— puppie🐕 (@activepuppie) December 29, 2018
9.
Tinder but it matches people that don’t know what they want for dinner with people who will decide what they get for dinner.
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) January 5, 2019
10.
am i the only one who opens the fridge repeatedly hoping that the food ur craving will magically appear
— Blonde Don (@machinegunkelly) December 31, 2018
11.
https://twitter.com/EmrgencyKittens/status/1079112573667164167
12.
Spinach pizza really hits but y’all aren’t ready for this adult conversation.
— alexus. (@alexuuussss) December 28, 2018
13.
my daughter really fought me over a damn chicken wing pic.twitter.com/RGd510q3m5
— liy 🐉 (@_notoriousliyah) January 2, 2019
14.
reasons i eat:
☒ boredom
☒ felt a feeling
☒ attempt to fill hole in soul
□ hunger— so sad today (@sosadtoday) January 5, 2019
15.
before i eat vs after i eat pic.twitter.com/qBpHAMFIL2
— Emma Thatcher (@emmajthatcher) January 1, 2019
16.
God bless fast food.
God bless slow food.
God bless any kind of
I-don’t-have-to-cook food.— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) January 4, 2019
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 9, 2019
17.
You know she comfortable around yo ass if she eat like this in front of you pic.twitter.com/9JJ2Pd4Ujw
— JDBwitTheJuice 💦 (@all_in_yo_girl) January 5, 2019
18.
types of people you shouldn’t trust:
1.) everyone
2.) who
3.) like
4.) pineapple
5.) on
6.) pizza— larri (@larrayxo) December 31, 2018
19.
“I need to lose some weight”
also me pic.twitter.com/3kFswRnM8o
— ✨ (@itschrissybaeb) December 29, 2018
20.
why is cereal still considered a breakfast food when we all know it hits better at night
— ✰ samflower ✰ (@milkygoddess) December 31, 2018
21.
I swear I go through a phase of literally eating one meal a day and then a few weeks later eating 5 meals a day and pigging out on snacks in between no wonder my body doesn’t know what the fuck is going on
— Zoe McGlade (@ZoeMcglade) January 2, 2019
22.
This why u can’t eat at everybody house! 🤮 https://t.co/yfygMWB0dw
— amirah 🌻✨ (@harimaaa__) January 1, 2019
23.
https://twitter.com/brokeangeI/status/1080392166739009536
24.
I want a hot body but I also want to eat tamales
— Alannized (@Alannized) December 29, 2018
25.
I left my car unlocked for 10 minutes to go tanning and someone stole my KFC. They left my wallet…but stole my chicken…
— Lyndi 🌹 (@_lyndi_) January 4, 2019
26.
https://twitter.com/EastonHerring/status/1079301458858778624
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 9, 2019
27.
My favorite part of going out to eat is acting like I’ve never met food before. Bread?? Complimentary? On my table?! How exotic. How fucking foreign. Brëd? Bręæd? Is that Latin? Nice to meet you.
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) December 28, 2018
28.
📍glass of water
| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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📍breakfast |
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ |
|
📍overpriced hot beverage
|
📍heavy lunch
|
📍milk tea
|
📍greasy food
|
📍carbonated drink
|
📍expensive dinner
|
📍alcoholic drink
|
📍midnight snack— eirizu.bsky.social (@Eirizu) December 30, 2018
29.
https://twitter.com/PushupSensei/status/1080269092886593537
30.
If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?
— J o n a t h a n (@JonathanJoly) January 5, 2019
31.
At what point do you stop using “it’s the holidays” as an excuse to keep eating?
— Hailee Steinfeld (@HaileeSteinfeld) December 28, 2018
32.
This would be a dope ass Valentine’s Day gift pic.twitter.com/jE99n90OfG
— XcellentEra Flash⚡️ (@FlashSZN_) January 4, 2019
33.
When your order number is 59 & they just called 43 pic.twitter.com/RYbhwBfOd1
— Charles J. Moore (@charles270) January 4, 2019
34.
https://twitter.com/anuscosgrove/status/1078445792166334469
35.
https://twitter.com/alezander/status/1081263293371535362
36.
📍immigrant parents
|
|
| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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📍apologizing |
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📍cutting up pieces of fruit and giving them to you on a plate— Emily Annette ❁ (@emllyannette) December 30, 2018
37.
Walking out of 5 guys after spending $60 on a burger and a paper bag full of fries https://t.co/qGrLI58Gkw
— Aokiji クザン (@DukeOfZamunda) December 31, 2018
h/t: Petty Mayonnaise