I don’t care what anyone says, children are little savages. Sure, they play all sweet and cute to lure you in and then, when you least expect it, they strike. At least, that’s what happened to each of these unsuspecting parents who were roasted into oblivion by their little ones.
1. This kid knew an insult when he heard one.
Me to my son: You remind me of me.
Son: That's just mean.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 16, 2016
2. This little girl called it like she saw it.
My 6yo daughter just caught me getting out of the shower.
"It looks like a minion!"
— Pwynce Wyn (@WynRichards) August 27, 2016
3. This 6-year-old knows how wrinkles work.
6yo: Mommy, when you get older will you look all gross?
Me: What do you mean, 'gross'?
6yo: Like how you are now, but wrinklier.
— Kristen Mae (@AbandonPretense) August 27, 2016
4. Gavin’s classmate is brutally honest.
Kid in Gavin's class: Is Gavin going to have a baby sister?
Kid: Oh sorry…I misunderstood your dress.#kidburn
— Tabitha Doddridge (@dontcallmetabby) May 25, 2018
5. This kiddo doesn’t care for mom’s cooking.
Me: We all make mistakes.
5: Even you?
5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2016
6. This very aware 10-year-old keeps it real.
10: Mom what's a metaphor?
Me: My life is a train wreck.
10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
— Sardonic Tart (@SardonicTart) December 12, 2014
7. This kid isn’t about that comfy clothes life.
Me: Please get dressed.
9yo: But you're still in your pajamas!
Me: I AM dressed.
9yo: Is that what you're calling [waves palm at me] this?
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) September 1, 2016
8. Mom’s gonna need some ice for that burn.
9. This kid has their priorities in order.
4-year-old: Can we get a kitten?
Me: I'm allergic. We can't be in the same house.
4: You could sleep outside.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2016
10. A brutally honest question.
"Mommy does my butt wiggle when I walk like yours does?" #kidhonesty
— Gretchen Britt (@GretchenYa) September 10, 2015
11. This kid is already giving backhanded compliments.
B: is that an old picture mom?
Me: no that's me 6 weeks ago
B: you look younger in photos #kidburn
— Kirsten Rourke (@kirstenrourke) June 9, 2017
12. Just zero, mom.
Me: "How many kisses do you need from me?"
3yo: "Probably just zero."
— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) March 16, 2015
13. Mom needs a drink after this one.
— Kris Redenius (@redenius_kris) July 20, 2015
14. This kid calling his mom a fossil.
When Bea was 3:
3yo: I love u the mostest.
Me: I love u my tiniest baby.
3yo: I love u my oldest Mommy. My fossil Mom. You are a fossil.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) October 24, 2016
15. This observant child.
Berlyn: "daddy, ur hair is growing in the wrong direction! Its going back in ur head instead of out!".ouch! #kidsaretoohonest
— Christie Whitezell Harrow (@coco_christies) April 1, 2013
16. This child serving as the cruel little voice in our heads.
Me "ugh I ate a lot today…"
Payton "it's not just today mom." #KidsAreTooHonest
— L. Valencsin (@lvalencsin) August 22, 2017
17. This kid should probably go into psychiatry.
Me to my 5-yr-old, balancing precariously on a stool: "Be careful – that's not very stable!"
Her: "YOU'RE not very stable!"#kidburn
— Gabby D. (@GabnDad) March 11, 2017