Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find.
And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.
Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago.
Either way, these were 15 of the most hilarious tweets we saw this week, featuring the usual dose of very necessary anti-Trump sentiment.
me: I’m gonna pick you up and move you somewhere safe
turtle: I’m going to bite your fucking finger— Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 25, 2017
[first date]
her: what are you getting?
me: [holding menu close to my chest] none of your fucking business
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) September 25, 2016
Mitch McConnell gets away with so much just because people think he’s hot
— RusticBaller (@ByYourLogic) June 26, 2017
My mom gave my dog at home the worst haircut of all time. She looks like a bag boy from the checkout lane at a grocery store. pic.twitter.com/dJ9SbXaizM
— ; (@Gutierrezmadai_) June 1, 2017
The spy presses his back flat against a tree & makes hand motions at me
“WHAT’S THAT MEAN?” I ask, dancing to activate my light-up sneakers
— batkaren (@batkaren) June 18, 2017
2016: I can’t wait for this year to end. Next year can’t be worse.
2017: Remember to call your senators and ask them not to kill you
— Daniel Lin (@danwlin) June 24, 2017
the floor is psychiatry pic.twitter.com/TSY7BIKRm4
— ceeks (@70Ceeks) June 26, 2017
I miss the days when online “Fake News” was just like, “Did you hear Urkel died” and then later you find out Urkel is fine.
— Kibblesmith ⚔️ (@kibblesmith) June 23, 2017
[gym]
ME: hey can you spot me
HIM: yeah
ME: *hiding under the bench* how about now— rob elliott (@rockymomax) June 28, 2017
I overheard a guy saying to his girlfriend “are you ready to fucking rage” as they walked into target together and that’s what I want
— k8e (@kpfeffss) June 25, 2017
My favorite pic form Erin Andrews’ wedding is this pic of a guest holding her date’s impressive dick. pic.twitter.com/lMjQoQr4LJ
— Toby Herman (@tobyherman27) June 25, 2017
The next person who says I’m using chopsticks incorrectly can cut this umbilical cord themselves
— RoxanneShmoxanne (@IvoryGazelle) June 23, 2017
I made this handy chart for people who don’t seem to understand why we’re focusing on Trump when “other people have done bad things too”. pic.twitter.com/gVjQLZY7bB
— OhNoSheTwitnt 🏳️🌈 (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 25, 2017
Someone in Larry Bird’s extended family fucked a bird. This is sesame street canon. pic.twitter.com/PTa5lvWfN3
— Culinary Taxonomist (@lordbeef) June 22, 2017
*stops beatboxing
– Fired!?
— inanimate corpse (@inanimatecorpse) June 21, 2017
And if you need even more, you can check out last week’s funniest tweets.