This is such a timely post for me because BOTH of my brothers are getting married this year. I’ll be sure to do absolutely 0 of these things at their weddings and rail on them if they do any of them.
To be entirely honest, I personally think weddings make people batshit crazy. They get so myopic and, bluntly, rude, that hurt feelings are inevitable. It’s just a day, guys. It’s just a day. And nobody cares as much as you do.
1. Nobody cares!
“Why do we need intros for the bridesmaids and groomsmen? It’s even worse when it’s a horrible song they’re walking/dancing to. So awkward.”—dukerigali
2. Oh no, who DOES this?
“The new trend where the wedding party leaves after the ceremony on a party bus and show up one to two hours later, totally wasted, while the guests have been left at the reception, bored as hell. So disrespectful to ditch the guests you invited.”—savorytree93
3. Bouquet toss
“I’m going with the bouquet toss. I think some people find it funny, but for weddings where the brides aren’t 22, I think it’s just cringey and putting the same emphasis and expectation of marriage on every single woman at the wedding. It just seems outdated, and it makes a lot of women feel awkward.”—bcs1294
4. Jesus, feed people
“I’ve seen an alarming number of people on the internet who think it’s OK not to feed wedding guests because ‘they don’t have the money.’ Like OK, that’s fine — then don’t have a party? You’re asking people to take their time and resources for you, and you won’t even give them a sandwich and some Hawaiian Punch? Fuck off.”—yurimj
5. Plus ones
“Guests should try to avoid inviting strangers to intimate weddings as their plus-one. They make it awkward, and they’re also in all photos of the event — despite the fact that the ‘relationships’ are short-term.”—quinnny23
6. The font
“The wedding font…you know the font. It’s used on invitations to bridal showers, bach parties, weddings, and more. Let it rest. It’s time to move on.”—Anonymous
7. Toast v Speech
“Learn the difference between a toast and a speech! A toast is not a speech, and a speech is not a toast! A toast is a congrats to the couple and should be brief: ‘To Mike and Joan! May their lives be happy!’ Speeches are pointless and boring. NEITHER TOASTS NOR SPEECHES ARE REQUIRED! Just tell your DJ not to give the mic to anybody you didn’t approve beforehand and start the party.”—fruitloop1863
8. This one is dumb
“Stop getting mad at the hosts for not giving you a plus-one. In 2022, weddings are expensive, and they don’t always wanna pay for your S.O. that they’ve never met.”—Anonymous
9. Stop going to the car
“Guests — especially random, plus-one guests — need to stop going out to the car to do whatever they do out there. It’s rude and weird.”—violetnylund
10. First dance
“Stop having your first dance to Ed Sheeran. It’s been done by everyone. Most function staff members hate him.”—mhfromnh
11. Giving away
“Let’s stop with the father of the bride ‘giving’ her away. Stop with the garter toss. Stop with the bouquet toss. All awkward, antiquated, and uncomfortable.”—queeninthenorth21
12. Cake smash
“I will seriously INSTANTLY divorce my husband if he smashes cake in my face after I’ve paid an arm and a leg to have my makeup done! It’s not funny anymore!”—carap4cf4bd1ac
“The dress-up photo booths with props. Tacky.”—u/Jfonzy
14. Terrible DJ
“Our DJ was just awful. He was late showing up, so he was still setting up his equipment when we got there (which was five minutes before the reception was supposed to start). He was also not dressed yet, so once he got set up he was gone for the next 30 minutes changing. We ended up not getting introduced and just walked in. So DJs — be ready and be on time!”—u/sharkman1912
16. Watch your kids
“We used a decorative blanket as our ‘sign in’ thing. Sometime during the reception these little fucking kids who weren’t family wrote on almost every square using the three or four curse words they knew over and over. Had to keep my anger at bay until after our honeymoon. Didn’t want to tell my wife what had happened. So, control your kids — if they’re invited.”—u/cubsfan86